Being more than just a mom~priddymomma

Hey guys!  Hope you all are having a fine week.  I'm late posting again!  Sorry!  I’ve put in long hours catching up on some long neglected yard work.  I also found some poison ivy.  Happily, I didn’t discover it with my limbs.

This post is for the ladies.  I’ll be discussing being more than just a mom.  Sorry to all our male readers.  I would love to give you some advice on being more than just a dad, but unfortunately I’m not qualified, gender-wise.  Hopefully you will find that some information in this post pertains to you as well. 

Parenting is one of the most rewarding experiences in the world, arguably the MOST enjoyable.  It is also one of the hardest.  Just like any activity in life, you can overdo it and burn out.  You must take breaks to recharge if you expect to perform at your maximum potential.  It is a very important job, and you do your best if you are relaxed, recharged, and refreshed. 

The trouble is that modern parents are often so busy that they struggle to find time to spend with their kids, let alone finding time for a break.  It just isn’t a priority.  My number one piece of advice is to MAKE time.  Jot it down in your appointment book and keep it as faithfully as you would for one of your kids’ appointments. 

My second tip is to get enough sleep.  Being tired adds to frustration and chaos, and your body needs time to repair itself and to fight off illness.  Yes, moms notoriously have little sleep, but what I’m telling you is that if you have the opportunity to sleep, seize it.  Being well rested will make a huge difference in your life, and in your kids’ lives.

 

SO not a mom...

“But Heather!  This is great advice and all, but I thought this post was about being MORE than just a mom!  You are just giving me parenting tips!”  Am I?  If you have a spare moment to yourself and you are exhausted, what are you going to do?  Uh-huh.  You bet your booty you will be napping.  “Me time” does not equal “sleep time.”  And new mothers, it doesn’t equal “shower time” or “pee time” either.  You need real legit “me time”. 

After you have cleared room for yourself in your schedule (and even an hour a week will do wonders), do something that makes your soul sing.  Taking a fitness class might be your idea of joy or maybe your idea of hell.  Don’t force yourself to do something you won’t enjoy.  That is a crappy way of giving yourself love.  Take the opportunity to do something worth it for you. 

Here are some suggestions:  bake, cook, garden, read, take a long hot bath, sing, swim, bike, run, play with your dog, go for a walk, hike, draw, play a video game, dance, sew, craft, meditate, go bird watching, try a new food, shop, hang out with a friend, play a sport, scrapbook, grab a coffee, watch a movie, catch up on your favorite tv series, plan your dream vacation, paint, check out an art exhibit, visit the fair, assemble a puzzle, etc.

In order to be more than just a mom, you have to learn to know yourself outside of being a mom.  It is perfectly okay if you have no idea what you enjoy anymore.  Great!  It means more experimenting and intrigue as you take yourself on dates to get to the bottom of who you are when you aren’t surrounded by children.  Yes, your kids may be everything to you, but that doesn’t mean they are everything you are.

Uh oh...we're talking about...SEX! *gasps*

When I was pregnant with my first son I of course thought of a million things I had ahead of me. One of those things was the inevitable sex talk that would come when my son was in the pre-teen years. But one thing I wasn't quite prepared for was that particular talk wasn't going to fully wait until then.
Let's face it, kids have questions, they are curious. And you are not going to be able to avoid that particular talk until the pre-teen/teen years. And you do not want to wait and let school teach your child about sex. I have heard many stories that some parents actually do rely on a school to have that talk with their children. Many figure well that's what sex education classes are for right? WRONG! You do not want your child walking around unaware of everything. I'm not saying go full hog and sit your toddler or elementary aged child down and have the whole talk with them at once. But let them know what their body parts are called. And let them know what they are for and that it is not okay for anyone to touch them there. Let them know they do not have to be ashamed of their body or their body parts but there is a time and a place for bringing up those subjects.

A lot of parents get worried to even tell their children a correct term for their body parts like penis, vagina, breasts, testicles, etc. But it's nothing to be embarrassed about and it's nothing to be ashamed about. It's awkward to talk about more than anything, but just push past that feeling. When you get nervous and uncomfortable and try to cover up the actual name for these parts then your children could pick up on that and be embarrassed also. Not to mention they won't be getting accurate information. And that's not good, you want them to be comfortable with themselves, and they need to understand.
Because girls and boys alike are going to be curious about their parts and how they differ from other childrens. They want to know what certain things are for and why they have them, and it's up to you to give them that information. My kids know the names of their body parts, and they know that nobody other than mom/dad/themselves/doctors are allowed to touch them there. And when they have questions just answer them. My oldest son asked where babies come from recently and how they get in and out of a woman's belly. He also asked why boys can't have babies. I explained these things to him in a way he can easily understand. About how men have sperm and women have ovaries and eggs. How the sperm and egg meet and make a baby. How boys have a penis and girls have a vagina, and only girls carry babies. Once I answered his questions he didn't ask any further questions, but both our boys know they can ask questions. They know it's natural to be curious. I don't want to send them out in the world and have their questions answered by anyone else.

If you consider something taboo and you don't broach the subject or answer questions as they come up then you are just teaching your children that they should be ashamed of their bodies. Not only that but when the time comes for them to make a decision they may not have all the facts to make a decision. Kids are a lot smarter than many people give them credit for.

So don't be ashamed to talk to your child about sex and body parts. It's important that you answer any questions they have, and give them the facts in a way they can understand. Don't recite from a book but really talk to them and listen to them. Don't send them out in the world curious and unprepared because you don't know what kind of answers they could get from someone else. It's our job to teach them. It's not something to be ashamed of, don't be embarrassed.
And you will probably find that if you answer the questions they have now and at least teach them the basics that your future "talk" won't be as bad as your dreading it to be.

Working Out~priddymomma

Welcome back!  This week, we’re discussing workouts.  Whether you are an athlete or a novice, we hope to have some good advice for you.  Here are some common excuses for not exercising and what you can do to beat them once and for all.

 “I don’t have time to workout.”

Not to sound like Jillian Michaels here, but excuses much?  Who has time to workout?  You make time.  Get up earlier and make sure to go to bed at the same time every night.  Get plenty of sleep and get up when your alarm goes off the first time.  Sleep in your workout clothes if that’s what it takes to get motivated.  You don’t have to get up six hours before you have to be at work or before the kids will be up.  I recommend getting at least an hour of exercise every day, but you can break that up in manageable segments.  If you only have thirty minutes in the morning before you need to be in the shower, great!  Work it, shower, and then find time to exercise the other thirty when you get home.  Or maybe take advantage of breaks at work to do some squats and such.  Workouts can be very portable and do not need to require equipment or large amounts of time.  Also assess how you are spending your time.  Do you have two hours for facebook or twitter, and time every evening to watch your favorite shows?  Give them up, abbreviate the time, or multi task and voilà!

“I don’t have energy for exercise.”

As counter intuitive as it sounds, exercise provides you with energy.  The more often you work your body, the more often your body can provide its own energy boost.  Strength training, for instance, allows you to perform every day activities with less effort, thereby saving energy for that three o’clock hour when you normally crash through the floor and grab a latte.  You might just find your morning mocha isn’t as necessary as you thought it was.

“I can’t afford a gym membership.”

Neither can I.  I’ve never been in a gym, yet I’ve worked out for years.  You can buy equipment for a home gym, or you can use what you have.  You’d be surprised what you can accomplish with a step stool, two one-gallon jugs of water, and a towel. 

Never underestimate fitness DVDs.  Home videos have come a long way since Richard Simmons (though in no way am I dissing him.  He’s FUN!).  The advantages are many, including cost, privacy, and ability to pause when you have to pee or get the baby. 

There are also many classes you can go to that are not associated with a gym, such as Zumba.  Zumba classes are usually only $4 or $5 each class. 

As Kim mentioned, there are many great video games, ranging from having a virtual personal trainer to dancing your booty off against friends. 

Not really your thing?  Don’t forget good old walking, jogging, running, or biking.  Long standing exercises all, and for good reason:  they work.

“I don’t have anyone to watch the kids.”

Higher end gyms offer child care, but you don’t have to be a gym rat to get fit.  Many Zumba classes, for instance, offer free child care.  Try trading off sitting with another mommy for fitness reasons (or maybe she needs a sitter for a hot date!).

If you can’t get away from them, have them join the fun!  There are great jogging strollers on the market for active mommies to take baby for a run.    You can try mom and baby yoga.  Both my kids (5 years and 15 months) love to do yoga and to dance.  You can get a great workout on a playground while they play right next to you.  Go swimming!  Hiking!  Bike riding! (I do not recommend bike seats for small children, however.  They are not safe.  Wait until they can ride their own bike.)  Play a sport together!  You’ll get fit, bond, set a good example, and wear the kids out so they sleep good in the evening.  Everyone wins!

“Working out is boring.”

You aren’t doing it right.  You can’t keep the same routine for five years and expect it to be fascinating.  If it’s boring, change it.  I change mine up every five or six weeks, keeping a separate calendar just for my fitness routine and goals.  Running on the treadmill?  Go outside or try running backwards (seriously!).  Is your walk boring you?  Grab a pal and chat while you hit a local park.  Change your DVD, try a new class, challenge yourself with a heavier pair of dumbbells, add some jumping jacks between sets, try interval training, or race a pal.  Reward yourself with non-food goodies, like a new fitness DVD or some cute workout clothes.  Mani-pedi, new shoes, that dress you’ve had your eye on…set a goal, accomplish it, and it’s yours!  Everyone needs some motivation now and again.  Goals like, “Not be fat by March” are just not good enough to keep you interested, and they’re too vague. 

“Sweating is gross.”

Yeah.  It kinda is.  However, you don’t have to sweat like a Gatorade commercial.  There are plenty of gentle exercises that don’t cause you to perspire profusely, such as yoga, tai chi, or walking.  You can always bring a towel to dab off.  And if all else fails, plan to shower immediately afterwards.

“I have bad knees.”

If you have some physical condition that keeps you from doing certain things, then you already know what things you can’t do.  You need to learn to think more positively and focus on what you CAN do.  I know many women with bad knees who love to swim, saying it is much easier on their joints.  You can do many low-impact exercises if your joints are an issue.  There is even a Zumba instructor that is in a wheelchair because of a physical handicap.  She’s still exercising with what she can do, and that’s what you need to do too. 

Kim mentioned exercise-induced asthma.  I have that condition too, but notice I didn’t say I’m an avid runner.  I know my limits, and the condition for me lessens the stronger my lungs become from cardio.  I go to Zumba once a week, strength train once a week, hike with my thirty pound baby on my back in a backpack carrier three times a week, and do yoga twice a week.  I almost never have an attack, and if I feel I’m exerting myself too hard, I take a break to breathe.

Tips and Tricks

• Schedule in time to exercise like you would a work meeting, doctor’s appointment, or play date.  If someone or something tries to take that time, you are booked.  You have an appointment with yourself, and if you don’t put yourself first, no one will.

• Exercise and food work together.  Food is fuel.  If you eat crap, you’ll be running on crap all day. 
• Take a day off every now and again, especially if you feel very ill or aren’t feeling it.  You’ll enjoy the time off and hopefully be more interested in jumping back on the workout wagon the next day.
• Know your limits.  Don’t give 112% or you might well end up injured.  That goes double if you haven’t tried a workout before.  Sometimes you can’t tell how sore you will be until a day or two later.
• Watch your form.  Having a poor form can cause injury, limit results, or drain you too quickly.
• Results won’t occur overnight.  It might be six weeks before other people really start to comment on your weight loss or tone, but you will notice a difference in your strength and energy almost immediately.  Keep it up!
• Having a fitness friend is fun, but it’s also a great motivator.  You are now accountable to another person.  You don’t want to let them down or have them disapprove, so you go do your thing.  Try sites like sparkpeople.com to find online communities of like-minded folks.

My friend Allisse and I after a Zumba class.  Glamorous.  I know.

• Little things add up.  Take the stairs instead of the elevator, walk or bike to work (even just once a week), do five or ten minutes of exercise during a break, sit on an exercise ball to engage abs while at the computer (or stand!), and dance like a crazy person at your girl’s wedding.  Hubby and I like to go on active dates where we play basketball, hike, walk, or go bowling.  You can try rock climbing, zip lining, or horseback riding.  If it’s fun, you’ll be less likely to view it as exercise, but it is!  It all counts!  Don’t forget sex! 
• Don’t make too many changes at once.  Start by requiring yourself to walk thirty minutes, three times a week.  If you keep that up for a week or two, step it up to forty-five minutes, or five days a week.  Habits aren’t formed until you’ve done something four months in a row, so it’ll take some time to ease yourself into a new routine.  You don’t want to start a new job, pick up exercising seven days a week, get pregnant, move to New Zealand, learn Portuguese, begin volunteering at the homeless shelter, change the way you eat, learn to knit, and quit smoking all at the same time.  You’ll blow a gasket and give up something…and that something will probably be working out as it takes a good deal of time and effort.
• The scale measures weight.  That may seem pretty obvious, but your scale lists a weight and not a height, not a measurement of body fat (unless you have that special one, though they aren’t always accurate), not a measurement of beauty, brains, or wit.  You are more than your weight, and whether you gain or lose, if you feel good about yourself, you have nothing to fear from the scale.  Muscle and fat weigh the same, but muscle takes up less room than fat.  So if your pants are looser, but the scale is being stubborn, be proud of the fat you changed to muscle.  Muscle burns more calories than fat, and pretty soon you’ll be looking down at a number you love.  

• Indulge every once in a while.  I love chocolate.  I would smack someone in the face if they suggested I not eat it ever again.  Do what makes you feel good, but within reason.  If you can’t give up your morning cup of joe, at least don’t have a 64 ounce caramel mocha super espresso double shot with extra syrup, cream, and lard.  Watch serving sizes.  Have one cup the way you want it and be done for the day.

Hopefully you’ve taken some valuable things away from our posts this week.  We hope you check in again next Monday on our nifty new topic.  Until then, farewell!   

Working Out ~ Tori

As a busy mom it can be incredibly hard to find time to work out. When there is a bit of time in my day I can think of so many other ways to fill that time. Quiet reading time, cleaning (as a mom to two young boys something ALWAYS needs cleaning), etc. The list goes on and on.

But the fact of the matter is that we all need to work out. What method we use to work out will vary, but keeping healthy is the main goal we all have in common.

Sometimes it's best to just quit over thinking and make some extra time in our day for working out. A little time each day will help us in so many ways.

Working out makes you feel better, helps you live longer, and (believe it or not) makes you have more energy.

And if you don't have time for a complex work out routine there are many simple ways to sneak in a few methods to help you. Maybe take the stairs instead of the elevator. 

Have a day planned at the park with the kiddos? Walk there instead of driving. Or walk to a place close to you that you usually drive to. No sense in wasting money on gas when you could enjoy the day and take a nice walk.

Set your clock a bit early in the morning (even 15-30 mins) to get in an early morning work out. Do some squats, jumping jacks, yoga, etc. Do zumba once a week. There are so many ways you can make working out a part of your daily routine without infringing on anything else. And although it may seem a task at first you will very soon notice some small differences in your days. Increase in energy, better mood, you will find yourself sleeping better at night, you'll find an extra little spark in your sex life, and you'll notice over time weight loss.

I for one like to get up a bit early. There's a window (albeit a small one) where everyone in my house is asleep and I can wake up without dragging my feet around. It's about thirty minutes and I use this time to get some workouts in. The house is silent, I have a space to myself, and I get at it. It's nice to have a bit of quiet time to myself and know that I'm bettering myself (even if a little bit) by getting my workout in. And even though I often find some of my muscles sore I notice a significant difference throughout my daily routine. I tend to be happier, have more energy, and feel more accomplished. 

Just remember that if your working out to maintain weight eating healthy also goes hand in hand with that. Not saying cut out everything delicious in your life. Life is short and we must live it. But here and there we can make better choices. 

By working out you will feel better about yourself, you'll feel more sexy, more confident. We can all use some of that right?

It's a great stress burner and it will calm you through some of those tough moments sure to pop up through your normal mom day.

Bottom line is exercise can be fun, and it can definitely make you feel better.

The best advice as one mom to another that I can give you is just don't put to high of expectations on working out. Often we set ourselves for too high of goals that we find difficult to reach. Everyone is different and we all work at our own pace. No body is the same. Just have fun with working out and be a friend to yourself rather than an enemy. 

If you have worked out all week long and there's no difference than the previous week don't be down on yourself. At least you haven't gained! And most importantly at least your keeping active and having fun.

Nobody is perfect and as long as your on the path to bettering yourself, you are on the right path. Have patience with working out and have patience with yourself. Don't expect the same results that someone else may gain from working out because you are not them. And most importantly, I can't say this enough, have fun!

Diaper Bag Essentials ~ Tori

Diaper bags are a necessity when young ones are involved. But a few questions remain on how big of a diaper bag do you need? How long do you carry one? What do you put in there? etc.

This week we will hopefully be helping answer some of those questions. First let me start by giving a few of the diaper bag essentials:

Diapers/Extra Pair of Toddler Underwear (the amount of diapers can be controversial, only you know your baby. Typically they recommend one for each hour you are going to be out and about but I take along an additional three extras just in case. When talking diapers it's always better safe than sorry. And I take along an extra pair of underwear for my oldest whom is five. He is fully potty trained but there has been a couple times there has been an accident even though we frequently have him potty)
Wipes (make sure you have a well stocked box or better yet the easy to pack packs)
Bottles/Sippy Cups (obvious)
Hand Sanitizer (for after diaper changes and when you need to clean your hands but there's no time or place)
Changing pad (or baby blanket/towel that you don't mind gets stained or dirty. This is helpful when you need to do a diaper change and need to lay your baby on something)
Pacifier (if your child takes one, mine didn't)
Bottle of water (obvious)
Sunscreen (again obvious)
An extra change of clothing for your child (accidents do happen, especially when you don't expect them. you can roll the clothes army style after folding and it doesn't wrinkle plus takes less space)
Small first aid kit (I can't tell you how many times I didn't have one and wished I had, I do now)
Busy toys (for the times your child is bored/cranky and needs something to keep them busy. This is best put in a ziploc bag big or small and includes crayons, paper, board books, an easily packed toy your child likes, etc)

And here's a great diaper bag tip: Make sure you can fit a couple things for yourself in there as well. Parent's sometimes have items needed to bring also. I for one never go anywhere without bringing a book along and a bottle of water for myself. And make sure you have a place for your wallet and keys to fit conveniently.


How long do you carry a diaper bag? What kind of diaper bag should you carry?
A controversial topic- everyone views this differently. Only you know your child and your child's needs. Personally as a mother to two young children (2 and 5) I still carry a diaper bag. Usually I keep a diaper bag in the trunk of my car since my kids are a bit older.
If your child is younger than two I recommend carrying one at all times just to be safe. Otherwise I recommend keeping one in the trunk of your car at least until your child is out of the accident range or around age 7. Nobody has to know you have it in there and it really doesn't matter if they do. You are doing what is best for your child and if an accident happens at least you are prepared. If your child is older you can switch to a tote bag/backpack etc. A diaper bag doesn't HAVE to be a diaper bag. It's what fits you best. Carry what feels comfortable and has enough room for all your needs.

Mom Alienation, losing non-mom friends...

Becoming a mom is life changing. Nothing is the same. You change your whole view of the world, priorities, thoughts, relationships, etc. Nothing is left unaffected.

Having a baby is a beautiful thing, but the very MOMENT you find out you are going to be a mother you aren't the same.
The only bad thing is that your friends become different towards you too. Mainly we are talking about your non-mom friends. Not all of them will do this, but there will be some.
Now this is not to say that the non-mom friends are bad people. Not at all. I guess you have to see it from both perspectives and add the fact that everyone is different.

When I found out I was pregnant all the people close to me were very excited right along with me. However, that quickly changed as I started changing. After all I now was growing a life inside me, I wanted to get ready for the baby. I couldn't go out and party with friends anymore. I still hung out with some of them and we would see movies, go swimming, just hang out, etc. But it wasn't the same.
I was tired often, I no longer wanted to stay out late, I didn't want to drive around, etc. I wanted to go home and crochet baby blankets, I wanted to shop for baby clothes instead of other stuff, etc. It may sound boring but that's just who I became. I didn't think badly of my friends who got to go out and have a good time. I even still enjoyed hearing their stories, but some of them had no interest in hearing mine. Friendship goes both ways, and that's the main thing to remember.

Once I had my first son things some friends separated even more from me. I noticed it but didn't fret too much. We were both different people now. Or as some of them seen it they stayed the same while I changed. I was fine with this, however. No sense in crying over spilled milk. It's sad to lose friends, but if your losing them then they weren't your REAL friends to begin with.
I was told by one friend that our lives were too different and I didn't have the time needed to hang out. I was now boring and just because I changed didn't mean they were going to. But she didn't look at the fact I was a new mom with a newborn to take care of. I didn't want to leave my baby and go party. I had diapers and wipes to buy, doctor appointments to attend. Sleep was now a precious commodity, no longer a right but a luxury.
But one thing I quickly learned is this golden rule:

You win some, you lose some.

This can easily be applied to mommy hood. While you will inevitably lose some of your non-mom friends as you are changing you will gain some new mom friends. And don't forget your TRUE friends will be around for you no matter what the situation. They will learn to adapt to your lifestyle and you still need to remember to make time for them. Involve them in stuff and when you can do some stuff they want to do. Let your partner have some daddy/child time and go out with your friends for a little bit. Call your friends and keep in touch via text/email/etc. And make sure they make time for you too. Have them over for movie night, let them accompany you to the park when you take your kiddos, invite them to birthday's, etc. Your friendships don't have to stop just because your a mom. Your true friends will stick around, they will respect the fact that your life has changed and they will still be there. They will listen to all your parenting stories from dirty diapers to lack of sleep. They won't care you have spit up on your shirt (which does happen more often than you think). Fact of the matter is when it comes to true friends you may even go months without talking but when you finally get back to it, it won't be awkward or different. You'll be able to pick right back up where you left off and both parties will be understanding.

One thing that's important is to keep your friendships many. I have friends that have older children, friends that have no children, friends that have younger children. As a mother they have all contributed to me in so many ways from helpful hints and tips to inspiration. I have been able to pass down handy tips and tricks and I have had tips and tricks passed down to me.

Even if your losing some friends you will gain more, and the true ones will stay.

Fanatics and Superhumans~priddymomma

First, a confession:

I have been procrastinating.  I had plenty of time the rest of the week to get this typed up, but I waited until the day I should be posting it to get to work.  Now I’m up at six in the morning, WITHOUT COFFEE, trying to get this done before my house turns into a very merry unbirthday party.  Now, you probably have two questions:  1.) Why have I been procrastinating?  and 2.) Why on Earth would I be without coffee?  What is wrong with me? (Okay fanatics.  That’s three questions.  Get off me). 

Sweet, delicious tease.  Curses!

In answer to your second question, I’m attempting to give up coffee.  I love coffee, but I’m quite addicted to it.  I’m to the point where I don’t even enjoy it anymore.  I’ll drink warm urine-tasting coffee and complain the entire time about how it tastes, but I will still finish it.  Alas!  In answer to your illegal third question, they still haven’t found the answers, but they are out there somewhere.

I’ve been procrastinating, because I have too much to say.  My opinions are strong ones, and they are not necissarily representative of anyone but myself.  I hope you find this post helpful.  Here we go.

Home-school vs. Public School

Being a teacher is one of our primary jobs as parents, regardless of whether we chose home-school or public school.  We start teaching our kids the moment we bring them into the world.  We teach them how and what to eat.  We teach them how to love.  We move on with language and potty training and what not, but the point is that from the first day, they look to us to know how the world works.  A lot of parents hear that we home-school and they immediately respond with, “oh, I could never do that!”  Their reasons are usually that they are afraid they’d leave something out or not be smart enough.  What they fail to realize is that they have been teaching their kids from day one!  Moving on to academics is just an easy canter from there. 

Eh.  Not my color.

I went to public school, got an edumacation, and turned into a well-adjusted adult (QUIT LAUGHING!).  I made amazing friends, had wonderful experiences, and really liked many of my teachers.  If I could go back, I would definitely do it again.  Public school can be a wonderful option.  There are great schools out there and great teachers!  The friends your kid makes are vital to his or her growth.  Being away from mom and dad is an important step in gaining independence.  All of that is fantastic.

We chose to home-school. 

Safety was a factor in our decision to home-school.  As a parent, I worry constantly about my child’s safety.  I don’t need to put it down in words all the things to worry about.  I feel like I need to worry a lot less when my kids are home with me, where I can see them and/or hear them at all times.  I know what they’re eating, wearing, doing, and whom they are associating with because I have pre-approved of these aspects.

Another factor was curriculum.  In a home-school setting, you can follow your child’s lead.  If he or she is excelling at a fast pace, move on quickly.  If he or she is struggling, you can afford to take the time.  We as a society push our kids so hard, and we rarely give them a choice in the matter.  Kids are naturally curious and want to learn.  I believe that if the information is there or is presented in the right way, kids will jump at the chance to learn all they can about a subject.  Right now, Cheerio Champ is really interested in presidents.  He’s memorized all of them (I only taught him the first eight!).  In fact, he’s asking for more information to keep learning.  Not only is he learning an astonishing amount (all 44 presidents at age four!), but I’m learning as well.  I learn/relearn my facts before presenting them to him, and then we watch movies, read books, or explore websites together and learn more.  He’s learning and so am I.  I’m teaching him valuable research skills and providing him with a lifelong love of learning.  And there is ample opportunity to become closer through our experience.  The fact that we love homeschooling has been the primary reason we continue to do it. 

Another of our biggest reasons for homeschooling is time.  If my son went to public school, when would I see him?  He’d have to get up earlier than he does now in order to catch a bus to go to school.  He wouldn’t get home until around the time my husband usually gets home from work, leaving us with one hour before I had to start dinner, followed by eating dinner, shower, and bed.  During dinner prep, he would likely be completing homework/running around like a crazy person.  The weekends would be our primary time together, which wouldn’t leave him with much time with his father at all, as hubby works on Saturdays.  Yes, I would have more time to myself during the day, but at what cost?  Sure, it would be easier to just take care of my youngest during school hours, but it would be less enjoyable too.  Some of the most rewarding parts of my day would be missing.  We have much more family time this way.  (We usually don’t do homeschooling on my husband’s days off.  We home-school four days a week nearly all year, for two to three hours a day. )

How can you choose between homeschooling and public schooling?  Here are some factors to consider:

• How good are the schools in your area?  If they aren’t up to your standards, are you willing to drive week days to another school?
• Do you have the time to home-school?  Are you a stay-at-home parent, or do you work a 40 + hour week?
• Do you want to teach your child from home?  If not, don’t!  There are other options.  Don’t want to home-school or public school?  Try charter or private!
• How deep are your anxieties about the things your child will be exposed to at public school?  Will this affect your sleep and daily life? 
• Where are you at financially?  Home-school does not equal free school!  There are a lot of things you can do for free, but somewhere you will have to drop some money.  Public school offers tuition assistance programs to those that need them. 
• Do your kids have severe food allergies?  I personally would never allow my kids out of my sight if they had a food allergy, so I’m including this here as a precaution.  Your kids can take their lunch to school, but what’s to stop them from trading lunches or sharing food at a classroom party?
• What do your kiddos want?  Are they already in school and love it?  Do they have a lot of friends or want to make friends? 
• How important is religion in your home?  Do you have the time to teach all that you want to teach about religion while your child attends public school?

I have another bullet, but I’ll make a paragraph to elaborate instead.  How do you feel about being constantly judged and possibly ridiculed?  People feel very strongly about the education they are providing for their children.  If you don’t measure up to their standards, they will not hesitate to tell you.  Oftentimes, people seem to take it as a personal insult if you home-school while they send their kids to public school.  Also, there is still a social stigma associated with homeschooling.  First, people believe that if you home-school, you are either snobs that don’t want your kids associating with the general population, crazy cult religious people, red-necks that don’t believe in education, Quakers, or you have too many kids to count.  People are constantly asking us to justify our choice to home-school.  Why should we have to?

 I should point out there is another side as well.  There are parents out there that hear you home-school and treat you like you are some kind of superhuman.  They hear you home-school and immediately feel the need to justify why they do not, usually elaborating on personal flaws they believe they have.  They start treating you like you have an amazing intellect (maybe you do, maybe you don’t) and try to impress you with some things they are doing “right”.  It’s really quite strange, but true.

Sometimes the other homeschooling parents are the worst.  They tend to go on and on about what junior can do and what methods they are using and “OMG!  I just started prepping him for the SAT!  I should have started MONTHS ago!  He’ll be four in a week!”  Possibly these parents just want to receive a pat on the back for their efforts, but I tend to not care in the slightest what junior is doing.  Good for him, provided he’s having fun.  It isn’t going to change what I do with my kids at all.

It comes down to what you are most comfortable with and what is the best fit for your child.  And remember:  you don’t have to exclusively do either!  You can teach your kids supplementary education to that they receive in school.  You can send your kid to public school one year and home-school the next.  You allow your child to take extracurricular activities or a chemistry class at your local high school and do the rest of his education at home.  The options are endless and the choice is yours.  Don’t let anyone tell you what is best for your child.  You know him or her better than anyone else. 

{Note:  If you wish to home-school, find out what the laws are for your state from the Department of Education.}

Potty Training - Leslie

When Addie was born, potty training was one of those milestones I both couldn't wait for and dreaded.  I hoped so badly for a child who would be easy to potty train but I just KNEW that I would birth the kid that would still be in diapers at age 35.  Hah.  Thankfully, that wasn't the case, but neither was it a piece of cake.

We started introducing her to her training potty around a year old.  I know that might seem early for some, but I wanted her to be comfortable being around one.  We didn't start actually training at this point, though.  She was allowed to play with it, sit on it, take it apart, etc.  She got familiar with it and learned what it was for without the pressure of having to jump on and actually use it.  At about 16 months, we started to have her sit on it when we thought she had to potty.  She didn't take to it very well so we stopped and went back to diapers. 

That was our routine for a while after.  Try for a day and if she wasn't ready, go back to diapers for a month or two and then try again.  I never pressured her to do anything she didn't want to.  Every time she had an accident (at that point, EVERY time was an accident), we just told her that the pee and poop goes in the potty and that when she feels it coming she has to sit down on the potty and go.  We didn't push her into it.  Her potty always stayed out, even when she was in diapers.  We just left the option open to her.

At the beginning of this year, I decided to try again.  We took a break during the holidays so that none of us would be overwhelmed with everything going on and trying to potty train at the same time.  On a Wednesday, I told her that we were going to try to potty train again in three days.  It was a good time because I had a three day weekend off of work and we had nothing planned.  I told her in advance and every day leading up how many days until potty training so that she would feel more ready.  On Saturday morning, I just stripped her down and about every 15-30 minutes (depending on how she was acting) had her sit down and try.

The first time she peed, she got SO excited.  It was like the clouds cleared for her and she had found her life's purpose.  Seriously.  After that, she was ON it.  Of course, she loved that every time she went successfully in the potty we had a mini dance party.  We started off giving her a little treat every time she went.  Something like one jellybean for a pee and two for a poop.  When we ran out of jellybeans (which was fast because we didn't have many to start with) we just told her they were gone and it wasn't an issue for her.  The amazing feeling she had from finally getting it was enough.  After a couple of weeks of going regularly and only having the occasional accident, I rewarded her by taking her to the store and letting her choose some panties for herself.  A couple weeks after that, she graduated to a potty seat that fits on the big toilet and a step stool to help her get up there.

She doesn't have as many accidents now, but when she does, she gets upset because she missed it.  Not because she gets in trouble (we still just let her know everything is okay and that we know she'll try harder to make it next time) but because she knows that she can do it herself.  Now at almost 2 1/2, she is in panties all day.  The only time she wears a diaper is for nap and bedtime, but at this point at nap time she doesn't really need them.  She wakes up dry.  At bedtime, it's a longer stretch and her little muscles aren't quite THAT good yet, especially while she's asleep, so we stick to diapers.  Usually when she wakes up, SHE will just take the diaper off and go to the bathroom herself. 

If I were going to give any advice to parents who want to know the best way to potty train, know this.  There isn't one.  Every child is different and will be ready in their own time and won't potty train exactly like another child.  Don't be jealous because Sally Sue's kid was potty trained at 16 months and you're here at 3 years old and little Johnny still won't use it.  It's FINE.  They'll get it.  Just keep in mind that 1) Sally Sue is probably exaggerating and that little Helga peeing once on the potty doesn't equal being potty trained and 2) if little Helga IS actually going all the time, well nobody is that lucky and Sally Sue will be dealing with a crazy teenager.  Make you feel better?  Me too. 

Just keep in mind that the more you push when they aren't ready themselves, the more they're going to resist.  Don't just pull out the potty when it's time to train.  They don't know what it is at first and it can be scary.  Let them go into the bathroom with mom AND dad.  They will learn that it's normal and that it's okay to use the bathroom.  In the beginning, we tried using charts and we tried treats and we tried having her sit every 15 minutes, but none of that did ANY good until she was ready for it.  Don't feel like there is a deadline.  There isn't.  If you try and they aren't responding well, just let it go for a month or two.  Really, you would be surprised what can come around in one month.  It's not a failure, so don't look at it like one and more importantly, don't make your child feel like it's one.  They WILL use the potty.  Sometimes it feels like they never will, I know.  I KNOW.  But they will.  I promise.