On the spectrum~priddymomma

Hey guys!  Time for an update from me.  (I can feel your excitement.  Just hang on to your britches!)  I’ve had a lot going on recently what with trying to settle in to our new house, helping my close friend plan her wedding (which is code for getting bossed around a lot, bless her), and scheduling curriculum for homeschooling this coming year.  Instead of boring you with a list of stuff I did, I decided to just talk about what is at the forefront of my mind as of late:  Cheerio Champ. 

Cheerio Champ at age 3

We knew that Cheerio Champ was on the spectrum by age three.  We caught it long before his pediatrician did, and she wouldn’t have caught it at all if we hadn’t insisted that certain aspects of his development were abnormal and that he had picked up strange tendencies.  After discussing options, we took a watch-and-see approach, which I don’t regret and I think was the best option.  His talking had recently picked up considerably, and he was beginning to form sentences.  He responded well to hugs and affection, there was no sign of hand flapping, and he made eye contact often.   

Things changed late last year.  Our pediatrician retired.  Cheerio Champ had been handed a label (autism), but since we never had testing completed to be “sure”, the diagnoses was unconfirmed.  It wasn’t until we went to our new pediatrician for the first time this past month (Cheerio Champ is now 6) that we discovered our conundrum:  our new doc doesn’t agree with the diagnoses, which means that the resources to help Cheerio Champ are out of our reach.  He doesn't think he is on the spectrum.  Though he didn't say it, I got the feeling he didn't believe in spectrum disorders at all.  Talk about a clash! (outside of that, we got on quite well)  We were hoping to pursue behavioral therapy for Cheerio Champ based on some habits we thought might be wise to break, but the doctor wasn’t agreeing and wouldn’t write the referral.  He did, however, agree that he had ADHD, which was no surprise and frankly obvious (even though assessments were still necessary).  He agreed to write a referral to a behavioral therapist for the ADHD since we didn’t want to use medications (because I am devious like this, but I also legit wish to not medicate my child if possible).  I figured that I could talk with this behavioral therapist and hopefully get if not a diagnoses, than the help my boy deserves.

 

This is one of those habits we are hoping to break.  This was once new paint...

Yesterday was our first appointment with the behavioral therapist.  Cheerio Champ just adores her.  He has talked about her several times since we left, saying that she is super nice.  She whole-heartedly agreed with the ADHD diagnoses, and even went one step further, suggesting that I might have it as well.  I would buy that, though I do a fairly good job of self-management what with caffeine and exercise.  

After interacting with Cheerio Champ and watching him play, she then suggests that perhaps he is on the spectrum.  I could have kissed her square on the mouth.  “YES!!!  But his doctor didn’t agree, even though his previous pediatrician thought so as well.”  She told me she was leaning heavily towards Asperger’s (my thoughts exactly) or autism, and immediately wrote us a referral for testing at Easter Seals.  I didn’t realize how much anxiety and sadness I had tied up with getting him the resources he needs until I practically broke down right there.  I felt so stupid, and it was made worse by the fact that she is trained to be all understanding and what not.  Ugh.  Just quit talking so I don’t have to snot all over myself, okay?!

Our next step is to get him tested.  I guess the first appointment is two hours due to his seeing two specialists on the same day, and the next is a meeting just with the parents to discuss plans from there.  I have to wait to hear from them before I know when his appointment will be.  I’m happy we’re that much closer to aid, but I feel frustrated that there are so many hoops to jump through.  It pains me that to seek treatment for kiddos, most spectrum parents have to go through this kind of thing. 

I'll be back next week.  Bye!

Quick Update

Sorry guys.  I don't have time for a theme post today.  I just wanted to jump on here and let everyone know that I will be out of commission for the next few weeks.  I don't know exactly how long as that will depend on my recovery.  I am leaving soon to drop off A with priddymomma and then off to surgery for me.  I will be back soon hopefully.

Until then, don't miss me too much!

Teaching Your Children Good Deeds ~ Tori

This week we are talking about teaching your children good deeds.
Good deeds aren't hard to do. In fact they are quite easy and simple, and can be as simple as a day to day kindness.
In our house good deeds are defined as helping out around the house without being asked (not including regular assigned chores), making a card for someone sick or to show you care, being nice to others, etc.
The main thing is that all kids love to help. Kids are naturally wired for good deeds. They like the way it makes them feel when they do something good, they like praise they get, they like being helpful. So it isn't hard to get kids to do good deeds.

The one thing we as parents have to remember is that we are the role model for our children. So to teach them good deeds we need to do good deeds. We should involve them. Let them help make chicken soup for a sick family member, let them help sign or send out holiday/birthday cards, show them how to hold a door open for others when you are out and about, etc. Once they see you do good deeds they will start naturally doing them, and it can sometimes become a second nature to them.

Good deeds also vary by age. What is a good deed now will change as they get older. But it's always a good idea to keep your children involved throughout the years, and to continuously set an example for them.
Make sure along the way you have conversations about good behavior, good deeds (and why we do them), and of course teach them manners. Without manners good deeds can be hard to do because children may not understand them. And while children love being praised for good deeds teach them that doing a good deed is not just about getting praise but feeling good about the fact you did something good for someone else.

For instance my son once shared his Ala cart money with another kid at school. He wasn't asked to do this. This kid only had a penny and some other children were making fun of him because he thought he could buy something at the Ala cart with that penny. My son knew everything at the Ala cart costs fifty cents to one dollar and since he had four quarters he gave the kid two. The kid told him thanks and they went up together and each got something worth fifty cents, sat down together and enjoyed their snack. A new friendship was made, and my son felt so good that he could help someone out.

For young children focus on good deeds. Let them watch cartoons where the characters do good deeds, let them read books focused on good deeds. Ask them questions about what they watch or read. Here's a few of our favorites:

Become involved. Ask your child: "Why do you think so and so did that good deed?" "What was the good deed or deeds done in this cartoon/book?" "How do you think that made he/she feel once they did that good deed?" "How would you feel to do a good deed like that?" "How would you feel if someone did a good deed like that for you?" etc. There is no limit on how you and your child can get involved, and the discussions are limitless. I know a lot of parents even have a "Good Deeds Day" where you do a certain amount of good deeds for someone in a day. So just know the possibilities are limitless! :)

What are some good deeds you focus on in your house? Do you have any examples of good deeds?

Teaching your kids to do good deeds~priddymomma

How do you teach your kids to do good deeds?  I guess you should probably start by deciding what it is you consider a good deed.  For our family, it isn’t that complicated.  I expect our kids to display kindness to each other and to others.  That is basic stuff they can understand at any age and that can grow with them in complexity as they are ready.  Today, it might be not pulling your sister’s pigtails.  Ten years from today, it might be volunteering at a soup kitchen.  An action brought about by kindness and love would be my definition of a good deed. 

Now that you’ve identified what you consider a good deed to be (and you don’t have to agree with my definition by any means, but for the purposes of this post, we’ll assume you do), you have to decide how to teach to you children what you know of the subject.  In this case, I need to teach my children about kindness and love.  Lucky for me, I’ve been teaching my kids about both of these things all of their lives.  The first moment I held each child in my arms after they were born (even arguably sooner), I began teaching them what I know about love.  With every boo boo that needed a kiss and every wounded feeling I had a kind word for, I’ve taught them about kindness.  I’m willing to bet your kids know a lot about both of these things from you as well.  

Point out good deeds that yourself or others perform.  Kids learn best through imitation.  If they see you hold open a door for an elderly person, when they are able it is likely they will do the same.  Let them see video spotlights on a great deed someone did, or let them read an article.  Expose your kids to books where someone chooses to do something kind for someone else.  Ask them how they think different characters feel at intervals throughout the book.  Teach manners (so few people use them these days!), respect, how to take the high road in a disagreement, and remember the Golden Rule:  treat others the way you would like to be treated.

The final step is performing the good deeds themselves.  I believe that if you’ve prepped your kids, they will take the steps without further measures.  If you would still like to nudge them a bit, help them brainstorm ideas for good deeds they could do for family, friends, animals, and the community at large.  Listen for what they sound passionate about, and encourage those deeds.  And don’t forget to take them along on any volunteering you do when appropriate. 

Do you agree with my definition of a good deed, or do you have one of your own?  Comment and let me know!

That’s it for me this week, folks!  Thanks for reading.  

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Getting Your Kids Away From TV & Video Games ~ Tori

In today's world there is a lot of controversy over kids and TV/video game time. From monitoring what your children watch/play to how much they are watching/playing. Wherever you go I guarantee you can always find someone to strike up a conversation on this topic.
This week we are talking about ways to get your child to turn off the TV and engage in other activities.

Before we go on let me first say that I hope nobody takes this as a lecture. I am in no way perfect, and I admittedly do allow my kids daily TV and video game time. They are given roughly an hour or two of television time per day (depending on school breaks, weekends, rainy days, etc) Those hours are for watching TV or playing video games not that many hours dedicated to each separate one. Some people think it's a little excessive, but I don't think it's that bad. That gives each child (I have two) thirty minutes each for a personal preference of show or video game. Usually I do time in the morning and then time in the evening. Sometimes they can earn movie's they are allowed to watch also. As a stay at home mom this can come in handy for me because I don't have anyone to help me with my children, and this keeps them out of trouble for a time when I need to get certain things done (mopping, scouring bathrooms, etc).
We also have family movie time once a week where we all sit down to watch a movie, have popcorn, etc.

But it is extremely important to get those kiddos out from in front of the television all the time. Here's a few things we do in our house that we have found to be quite successful:

• "Creative Time". We like to get this time in every day. Even if it's only for 15 or 20 minutes. This is a time when our kids can choose to either paint, color, draw, play play dough, etc. We always make sure to keep stocked up on these types of things. It's a fun time to stretch your child's imagination and they can create anything they want.

• Reading time. This is something we do every day. We sit down and read with our kids daily out loud and help them along. They learn new words, get to hear great stories, it helps build their vocabulary, and build their reading skills. After about thirty minutes of this (or more depending on the day or how much time we have) we try to get an additional twenty to thirty minutes of "quiet" reading time. They know during this time they can look at any books they want and look at pictures or read the books. This gives mommy and daddy time to also sneak in some quiet reading time, and it's something we always try to do together. The kids think it's great that we all get to sit on the couch and just look at books, read, and relax. So it's always good to make sure your child (and you) have plenty of books also.

• Outdoor activities. These are also a GREAT way to get your child out from in front of the television. What child doesn't love the outdoors? You can go to the park as a family, go outside for creative time, reading time, do some outdoor exploring, or just play games out in your backyard. Go bike riding, go swimming (if it's warm enough), go on a picnic. Anything to connect as a family and unwind. It is a great way to get your kids out from in front of the old tube, and they will undoubtedly burn off some of that extra energy. This isn't always the best to do on rainy days, but still an option. Even in the winter go out and have a snowball fight, build a snowman, make an ice castle. In the rain if it's warm and there's no severe storms or lightening go jump in a few puddles even if it's just for ten minutes. Sail a paper boat in a puddle. It may get wet and sink or not float for more than a few seconds, but it's still fun. :)

• Fitness. Get your child active. There are tons of things kids can do to be active. From things like yoga, jumping jacks, etc., you can also do a little dance party. It is so much fun, and something your kids will definitely remember.

• Cooking. Let your child help make stuff. My kids LOVE helping bake bread, muffins, cupcakes, cookies, scrambled eggs, cakes, spaghetti, etc. The list is limitless really. And there's tons of kid friendly recipes your child can engage in. There's tons of kid friendly cookbooks at your local library, or that you can order for you child. There's ideas on Google, Pinterest, and YouTube as well.

• Gardening. Even if you don't necessarily have a yard space to work in there are always potted plants. Start a little indoor herb garden or plant some indoor or outdoor plants in pots. We live in an apartment right now so while we don't have yard space to work in we are working on a balcony garden. Sure it's all in pots but it's tons of fun for the kids and us. Also we get our own homegrown fruit! Right now we have tomatoes and strawberry plants. We also have some potted flowers out there. We have bigger plans for next year but for the time being it's working out great with what we have. The kids take a lot of joy and feel very accomplished to see the actual fruits (or vegetables) of their labors. ;) It's a way to keep them busy all the while doing something big and productive. Or let them play in a pot of dirt. Build some mud pies or let them make a tiny fort or camp ground in a giant pot. There are tons of ways to have fun with this.

• Board games & Puzzles. A bit old fashioned? Maybe, but also a lot of fun. We are huge into board games and puzzles around our house. The kids love them too. We do puzzles, play card games, board games, and it's so much fun. Sometimes the kids don't even want to watch TV or play video games because they want to play a card or board game. And don't forget you can set up dominoes and knock them down and build card houses too! Don't let the electronic filled modern world take away some of the old time favorites. :)

And those are just a few of the things you can do at home. There are many other ways to pull your kids out from in front of that TV and take that game controller out of their hands. If it's something fun enough you won't even get any complaints!

Now some of you may be thinking of how in the world you could come up with tons of ideas for these types of activities. What if your kids get bored with these things, and how do you make them more interesting?
Well that's where the world wide web comes in handy. As bad as the web can be it can also be a wonderful resource. If you find yourself running out of ideas, or just looking for something different and fun to do with your children get online and search it.
There's Google, there's YouTube, there are tons of blogs out there, and best of all there is Pinterest.
Pinterest is chock full of thousands of ideas. I am a huge Pinterest fan. I don't get to get on there as much as I use to but it is so easy to use and if you haven't tried it yet I highly recommend it.
Just go to Pinterest and type in the search bar what you want to know:

• Rainy Day Activities
• Fun in the rain
• Kids DIY Projects
• Painting with kids
• Make your own play dough
• Outdoor activities to do with your child

You get the picture I'm sure. There are tons of ideas, and you will be so glad to have it as a resource. We have had a lot of fun with Pinterest, and it has also been a life saver when the norm becomes a little dull or boring now and again.

With that I will leave you. I hope you've found our articles and advice to be helpful too you. Feel free to share how you get your kids from out in front of that TV. What are some of your children's favorite activities to do indoor and/or out?

Ideas of ways to increase home learning activities

I am going to put a little twist on my thoughts about home activities, I am going to give some ideas of ways to help your child learn at home...some may be pretty obvious, but its always nice to have a refresher ;)

Recognize teachable moments- Learning moments happen all day long! Make everything you do or say a teachable moment: Bed time, bath time, driving in the car, dinner time, and most importantly play time! 

Describe everything- One way to make everyday a teachable moment is to describe EVERYTHING! Use colors, shapes, sizes, comparisons,and portions.

Music- We LOVE music!! We sing, have dance parties, and play instruments! Music helps speech and gross motor development---make up silly songs about everything, any time of the day.

Flash cards- describing and matching pictures can help children learn through repetition. This is how Keagan learned to read at a young age. (18 months) We started with flash cards, and even though he could not speak clear...he would point body parts or use sign language to read. Laynie has very little interest in flash cards...but loves to match.

T.V. time- We have "screen time" in our house hold. Keagan loves to learn by watching a movie. We often talk about feelings, and why someone may have done this or that in the movie...def helps social skills.

MOVE- teaching your children movement is super important. Aside from just playing outside we like to do nature walks, following the leader games, exercise, ride bikes, tag, and jumping!

Art- We LOVE art. Painting, coloring, beads, and gluing activities to name a few.

Use their words-It is really important for your child's language development to make them use their words!  Do not guess what your child is asking for when they grunt or point. Children learn from example, make sure you speak clear...and slow...I have realized both my children have an issue with rate of speech. It is so fast and they are hard to understand. I did not realize this until their speech therapist pointed it out!

Getting Your Kids Away From the TV~priddymomma

Hey guys!  Nice to have you tune in again.  I know you are just chomping at the bit to know what the topic is this time.  We have for you our tried and true suggestions for getting your child to put down the remote (or game controller) and do something else for a while!  Yay!  Awesome!

Okay, truth time.  I am not the best person in the world to offer advice on this topic.  We do not have cable in our household.  I don’t tell you that because I’m all goody goody about it.  We just decided we couldn’t afford to have cable about five years ago and never looked back.  We don’t miss cable.  We get our news and weather from the internet.  Shows we “have” to watch are eventually available on DVD, and we do own a DVD player (and television.  Don’t be weird.)

That being said, I plop my kids down in front of it daily.  I am a stay at home mom.  I am a homeschooling mother as well.  If you work 9-5, you get a lunch and breaks.  Afterwards, you get to go home and presumably stop working (or at least work on something different).  If you are a stay at home mom or dad (and do not homeschool), you likely send a kid or two off to school during some part of your day.  Me?  My job is 24-7.  I have both my kids ALL the time.  Kids are fighting with each other or bombarding me if I have to pee, I’m the one to get up in the night if the kids need me, and my lunch is usually an after thought when I realize I haven’t eaten and that is way I’m feeling sick to my stomach.  While my kids mean the world to me, they are not my entire world.  I need some time for myself as a person too.  I challenge anyone to listen to as much high-pitched screaming as I do on a daily basis and not want to throw in the proverbial towel.  I will let them watch a movie to save my sanity, yes yes yes.

Cheerio Champ gets video games as well as a movie each day.  *gasp*  The horror!  Yes, well…not every day.  He earns them.  You heard me.  He has chores and knows that we expect a certain caliber of behavior from him.  If he doesn’t keep up his end of the bargain, too bad so sad.  That means if there is a movie that day (and usually there will be at least one), it is mom’s pick and it will be educational.  (Sometimes that is a good thing, sometimes not so much.  There was a recent “naughty” day in which his movie was a lecture on DNA.  While he did take away a bit about protein bonding, he would have much rather watched Frozen).

I do my best to make sure they have other things to occupy their time.  They do a pretty good job of keeping themselves busy (when not demanding things from me of course).  Even when there is a movie playing, the kids like to run off and do something else before making their way back to whatever was on.  I like to think they occupy themselves in part because I have never been one to plan their entire day.  Certain things are set in stone (bedtime, lunch, etc.), but outside of that, whatever. 

I told you all that so that you would know more about the reputability of your activity planner.  Take or leave what I have to suggest to you here, and feel free to comment about some of your favorite busy-making for kiddos!

Princess Cheerio and her art

• Art.  I completely agree with Leslie here.  Cheerio Champ has never been much for drawing or coloring, but he loves to paint.  Princess Cheerio loves everything to do with art, but she doesn’t enjoy coloring books.  She likes to have a blank sheet of paper to put her scribbles to, and as a result, she has a massive amount of fine motor skills.  She is two and regularly holds a writing utensil correctly.  I highly suggest leaving out paper, pencils, markers, and crayons where your kiddos can get them, preferably on a little table or something of that nature.  Insist that the supplies stay there if you like the current color of your walls, floors, carpets, and furniture. 
• Reading.  Again, agreeing with Leslie.  My kids have loads and loads of books.  They spend hours pouring over them.  Cheerio Champ can read and has recently picked up chapter books.  Princess Cheerio can’t read yet, but she loves turning pages, looking at pictures and words, and having someone else read them to her.  Sometimes her bubby even reads a book to her, which melts my heart.  Use your local library if you don’t have a lot of books at home, or if they are getting tired of the same books.  We get each kid ten books a week.  They love it!
• Go outside.  This sounds like a no brainer, but many families never do this.  You don’t have to plan an activity!  When we first moved to our new house, my mother wanted to buy the kids a swing set.  I didn’t want to get one just yet, as I hadn’t planned out where my garden or shed or anything was going to be and had no idea where I wanted a swing set placed.  She exclaimed, “But what will they DO?”  Um…play?  Outside?  While enjoying nature?  Why is this so hard to comprehend?  That floors me.  I played outside for hours on end as a kid.  Granted, I did have a swing set.  While all of us kids spent a lot of time on it, I have more memories of chasing each other around, looking for bugs, and exploring.  Cheerio Champ spends time in his garden patch, watching birds, and playing with designated outside toys.  Princess Cheerio looks at everything.  Our neighbors have horses, she loves bugs, and she likes to pick dandelions.  During the summer, kids can have fun with water.  Snow is great in winter. Leaves to play in during the fall. There are countless things to enjoy.
• Cooking.  My kids love to help cook anything at all.  Great jobs for them include whisking, adding pre-measured ingredients, slicing things with a plastic knife, counting, and getting out ingredients from the refrigerator or pantry. 
• Get them active.  Okay, so this may or may not be away from the tv.  We have some exercise DVDs aimed at kids that we let them watch, but you can also show them how to do it without the movie help.  We also have a home gym, but you don’t need one to share fitness with your kiddos.  Any kid will dance along if your Zumba song comes on the radio.  Our kids love the trampoline.  Jump ropes are super fun and a learning experience.  My family had several pogo sticks when I was growing up.  Go for a walk or a hike or a bike ride.  Try a yoga DVD together (we love Gaiam’s YogaKids series).  Play tag!  Play Simon Says or dance the hokey pokey.  Go swimming or sledding.  Have a tickle fight!  The sky is the limit (unless you are into hang gliding, and then I guess it isn’t).

Here, hubby is teaching Princess Cheerio and Cheerio Champ about tai chi posture

That’s it for me!  If you have any topic requests or comments, we would love to hear from you!  Comment below, or email us at thecaseofthemissingcheerios@gmail.com .

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