Potty Training (cue horror music)~priddymomma

Hello cats and kittens!  Heather here.  I hope I didn’t scare you off last week (No worries!  No Herman the Hemorrhoid in this post! <<<except there…).  Tori did a fantastic job of schooling you on the basics of potty training, so I won’t trouble you there.  I’ll just share Cheerio Champ’s story and what I learned in the process.

I went into potty training my son with delusions of grandeur.  He had been interested in the whole bathroom process for a while by two years of age, so I figured I had it in the bag.  He also hated to be dirty in any way, so naturally he’d want to have potty training out of the way.  I didn’t read any potty training books ahead of time or worry too much about it.  The way family members spoke of it, it happened rather naturally and the kids practically trained themselves.  How hard could it be?

Come to think on it, this is totally out of character for me.  Talk about your Red Flag.  I usually read everything I can get my hands on about every topic ever.  Somewhere in my heart of hearts, perhaps I knew I was deluding myself. 

The HORROR! *tremble*

I got a free potty seat with Diego all over it through the Gifts to Grow Pampers points reward system, which I placed on the potty and left for some amount of time without rushing Cheerio Champ.  After he became comfortable with that, I started placing him on it every now and again, fully clothed.  He thought it was hilarious and would sit there for several minutes before wanting to get down and away from his mom (whom, from his perspective, was clearly losing her mind).  Then I started placing him on the seat in just a pull-up (he had outgrown diapers), and he seemed fine with that.  It was after the diaper came off that it started to become tricky.  The seat rocked and he pinched a finger and then he wanted nothing to do with the seat again.  I tried to step back to being clothed, but it was too late.  He was now terrified of the potty seat.

I let it go for about a month, tried again.  Nope.  Still terrified.  I tried buying one of the floor model potty chairs, but honestly he was too large.  He’s a big kid, man.  I’m also positive he had NO idea what it was for.  He peed in it once, by complete mistake, so we made a big deal out of it.  The next time, he went immediately in it, but after that he had no interest in it whatsoever.

Next came a multitude of bad ideas and poor results.  We tried movies, songs, candy, consequences, toy rewards, letting/making him run naked, getting angry (not planned), ridiculous praise (with cheering), potty chants, praying to the potty gods (are there such things?), running water with the hope that he would feel the need to go, trying to “catch” him when he needed to pee…the list goes on and none of it worked.

The biggest difference came when I bought a new potty seat to fit on the potty.  It adjusted to the size of the toilet seat, so there was no rocking.  It was more ergonomic, so not only did he find it more comfortable, but I didn’t have to watch out for yellow showers (always a plus!).  It was costly, but well worth it.  I also provided him with a potty book, which helped make the sit more enjoyable, as he was only allowed to have it while on the potty.  We also gave him a stool, to allow him to get up there when he wished.

I can not tell you how much I appreciated the sticker chart idea.  We began giving him stickers on a poster board each time he had success.  It was magical.  We didn’t have to reward him after so many stickers.  He just wanted to see the stickers on his poster.  They didn’t even have to be cool stickers!  We called grandma a couple times and proudly told relatives of his success and that was good enough for him.  During that time, we moved to a new house.  I didn’t put up a new sticker chart, but he continued to use the potty just the same out of habit now and life was good. 

He also wanted to stay dry during the day so he could wear his cool big-boy underwear.  If you have a boy, I highly recommend buying underwear that are the same type his daddy uses.  For our son, that meant boxer briefs, which they don’t sell everywhere with fun cartoon characters and the like.  That’s both good and bad, but it didn’t make a difference for Cheerio Champ.  He was like his daddy and that’s all that mattered to him.

We just had one small problem:  the kid wouldn’t poop to save his life.  Allow me to rephrase:  the kid wouldn’t poop IN THE POTTY to save his life (Pull-ups or the floor were acceptable).  He ended up constipated, which I do not recommend.  Not even a little.  I tried bribing the child with cake, I was so desperate!  CAKE!  He still would not poop in the potty.  By this time, Cheerio Champ was 3 ½, and I was pregnant.  “NO WAY was I going to be changing two sets of diapers when he was plenty old enough to use the potty,” I told myself.  He was just being stubborn, I was sick of cleaning up after him, and I had had ENOUGH (I was also pregnant and possibly irrational).  One night, he clearly had to poop, and I placed him on the toilet.  I had to check on dinner, so I left and came back to find a steaming pile waiting.  Oh no.  I made him clean it up.  That’s right.  I gave him a grocery bag and a wad of paper towels and made him pick it up.  It was his mess, after all.  He gagged and cried, I felt awful, and the floor got cleaned.  He never pooped on the floor again.  NEVER.  Not once!  There was probably a better way, but he was pooping in the potty now, so I was good to go (for the record, I think it is a good idea to teach responsibilities and make it a group effort…but making them pick it up out of anger is not such a good idea).

One last hurdle then:  bedtime wetting.  I sat him down and told him that he was so big that they didn’t make pull-ups in his size anymore.  We needed to wear big boy underwear all the time, even when we slept at night.  If he felt like he had to pee, he needed to get up and go.  I also said we don’t pee in the bed.  We pee in the potty.  He was absolutely okay with that, and I never had to buy another pull-up.  He wet the bed two nights in a row.  I washed his sheets (he has a waterproof mattress cover, which I highly recommend) and wet clothes, reminded him to use the potty, woke him at night a couple times to get him to go, and that was done.  He was more than ready to be completely potty trained, so that part was easy. 

I have an eleven-month old daughter, whom I will eventually have to potty train (I’ll try to contain my enthusiasm).  My number one mistake with Cheerio Champ was making potty training a Big Deal.  It was obvious how much I was tied up in his successes and failures.  With Princess Cheerio, I will be more laid back (and awesome?), as I am in all things parenting with child number two.  I plan to start with what worked with Cheerio Champ ultimately, skipping over everything else.  No two children are the same, so I’m sure that I’ll have entirely different problems and sentiments with her.  I also plan to let her take the lead and not move on until she wants to and not just because I feel pressured by friends, relatives, complete strangers, or circumstances.  She’ll train when she’s ready and not a second before.

Maybe you are dreading potty training after reading all that, and I wouldn’t blame you.  It was stressful and a horrible experience, but it was absolutely enlightening.  I learned a lot about myself, a ton about my child, and I began to parent differently as a result. 

Parenting is like a roller coaster:  it has its ups and downs.  Sometimes you are giddily anticipating the thrill, enjoying the moment (First steps!  First word!  First day of school!), and sometimes you are screaming your full head off and wondering what the hell you got yourself into.  It can also be a lot like looking in a fun-house mirror.  In some mirrors, you wonder how you never noticed all these flaws you have.  In others, you discover how truly beautiful you can be if given the chance.  And in looking in all these mirrors, you realize that there is always another perspective and always the chance to change how you view yourself and the world around you.  So just keep in mind that after the trip to the amusement park is over, we won’t remember every mirror or every hill.  What we’ll be left with are impressions and fond memories, and we’re likely to forget any hang-ups we had as they never truly mattered in the long run.  Relax and enjoy.  If your kid is still wearing diapers in high school, they can buy them out of their own allowance. 

Potty Training Tips and Tricks

This week we are going to be talking about Potty Training. Potty training is never easy. I have not met one parent who has said their kid just woke up one day, went to the potty, and it was golden from there. And if you know of one I want to meet them!
Potty training is messy, it's hard, it requires consistency, scheduling, and above all patience. There is the possibility of tears, sore knees (from scrubbing), tons of underwear to wash, and make sure to keep some fresh sheets handy while keeping a waterproof sheet on your lovies bed!
One thing that is also important to add is that no child is the same on potty training, there are thousands of methods out there, and it is up to you to find the right method for your child. But before we get into all that let's look at the signs your child is ready to use the potty::

• If your child can walk unassisted, obviously
• Has a semi-predictable bowel movement pattern
• Is dry for at least two hours at a time throughout the day
• Dislikes wearing a wet or dirty diaper
• Shows interest in the toilet
• Shows a fair amount of independence
• Is proud of his/her accomplishments
• Is for the most part cooperative, and listens to directions fairly well. (Mainly showing interest in trying new things)
• Understands directions
• Knows when he/she has to go potty
• Can pull up and down his/her pants

Now let's talk about the types of potty's out there. Now I'm not going to go into the styles because there are probably hundreds, but just the two main types of potty's you can use::

The Potty Seat (fits onto standard toilet)

The Potty Chair

Based on which your child shows the most interest in you can go from there. My first son was terrified of actually sitting on the toilet at first, but showed interest in it. He was getting to the point where he would take off his own diaper if he peed or pooped, or would let us know. We first bought the Potty Seat that fits on adult toilet, but since he was afraid of sitting on the toilet he refused to sit on it. Standing he would do, and so he would often pee inside the toilet. Depending on how tall your child is you may or may not need a stool to place by the toilet for their convenience. Just make sure it has grip on it so when they step on it, it won't tip over.

So we went and bought a potty chair which after some coaxing he started using. Now it didn't happen over night, we tried so many methods. I tried getting him to pee through cheerios that I was told makes it a game, and would make peeing fun. It didn't really work out that way though.

We tried incentives like prizes and treats (small ones to give them an idea) which didn't take as good as we had hoped. He would wait until he wanted a prize and only then would go to the bathroom, and once he was satisfied with what he got he didn't want to try anymore.

Finally we did the sticker chart. Kids love stickers so every time he peed he got to put a sticker on the chart. Once he got so many stickers he was given a dollar where we would take him to the dollar store and let him get anything he wanted within reason. He also got to pick out the styles of stickers used out of a few different options which made it more fun for him. We also gave him a lot of praise, and showed much excitement every single time he used the potty. It made him incredibly proud, and he WANTED to go to the potty.

We started off slow so we didn't overwhelm him leaving him in his underwear during the day, but putting diapers or pull-ups on him at night. After about a month of this he got to where he wasn't peeing in his diaper or pull-up at all while sleep. He has since then never once wet the bed, and started wearing underwear on a full time basis when he turned 3 years old. One thing is to make sure your child pees before they go to sleep, and as soon as they wake up. It's also a good idea to take them to the restroom every 2 hours and try to get them to at least pee, and this will help build a consistent pattern.

Right now we are in the works of potty training our almost 2 year old. He seems to be on the exact same track as his older brother, and we are going to stick to the same methods that seem to work best. If, however, they don't work with him we will try others. All kids are different.

Here's just a few of the methods out there you can try::

The Sticker/Rewards Chart

Bribery (do not overbribe, can use coins in a bank, a few m&ms, etc., get creative)

Praise

Stickers

Big Kid Underwear (Let them pick their favorite characters or styles)

Books or Shows can also be helpful

And that my friends is all the advice I have for you today. Be sure to check back on Thursday for priddymomma's Potty Training post & also Saturday for Leslie's.

And as always if you have any topics you want to see discussed on here feel free to send us an email at thecaseofthemissingcheerios(at)gmail.com

Motherhood: Expectations vs. Reality

The topic this week, as I'm sure you already know, is what we expected of motherhood versus the reality of having a child.  Going into motherhood was the same in a lot of ways for me as it was for Heather and Tori.  Even the things that are a little different though, I'm sure we can all relate to and understand.  (Also, I've been trying, and I just cannot get over Herman the Hemorrhoid.  Haha.)

When I was eight, my sister, who was sixteen at the time, gave birth to my nephew.  I remember it all clear as day.  I was at school, in the second grade, and it was lunch time.  My aunt was a substitute lunch lady that day, and when I went through the line to get my food she told me B had been born and that he had a lot of really dark, almost black, hair.  I think back on that and laugh because soon after all that hair fell out and it came back in very, very blond.  That was seventeen years ago.  (WHAT!?)  Of course, being a teen mother, my sister still lived at home with us so I was around him as a baby every day.  From then on, it seemed as though I was always around little ones.  When my niece was born, I was twelve and she was attached to me from day one.  I would often watch her, B, and my sister's now-step-son overnight alone.  (I know.  I know.  Totally not going into whether this was great parenting move on my sister's part, though.  So long ago, and at this point it is what it is.)

By the time my youngest nephew was born, I was 15 and babysitting regularly, for family and other people.  I KNEW going into motherhood at 23 years old that it would be difficult.  It was often difficult to care for another person's kid, and I could give them back at the end of the day!  While I didn't realize how difficult it could be at times with my own, I also didn't realize how absolutely rewarding it would be as well.  You never truly know the feelings parenthood can bring until you are there.  I have tried explaining it to people, and I haven't been successful yet.  That is where I think most people get tripped up.  They are either stuck on being this wonderful super-parent that has super smart, well-behaved kids and don't really consider the other side of things (like Tori mentioned, and what I leaned toward as well), or there are the ones that are terrified of having kids because they will have to deal with poop diapers and tantrums but don't consider the love a child would bring into their lives.  I don't mean people who truly don't want to have kids.  I mean the ones that do but get hung up on having to deal with the downsides of parenting.

It's definitely not all rainbows and butterflies.  You won't be supermom or superdad.  Your kids won't blow sunshine up your butt all day long and do everything you want them to.  They will talk back, they will throw a fit in public, they'll get sick.  It happens.  It's a GOOD thing.  It means they are developing naturally.  What you can control is your reaction to it and guide them in the right direction.

Now, being a parent, I see that it is everything I ever dreamed of, and everything I ever had nightmares about.  There is nothing like seeing my little baby smile for the first time.

There is also no feeling like the one I had when she first got sick, and even worse, had to be in the hospital for a time.

She has grown right before our eyes, and every day I wake up and think, "When did her hair grow so long?  Where did my baby go?"

She has made me laugh and she has made me cry (in the same moment).  I never knew I even had so many emotions.

When she says, "I love you mommy (or daddy)," or, "Mommy (or daddy) is my best friend," my heart just completely melts.

Reality is so much better than my expectations, and so much harder.  But it's so very worth it.  I used to think it was kinda cheesy when parents would say, "My child is my life."  I didn't get it back then, but I do now.  I chuckle at those who think what I thought, because life is so much better on this side.  That little girl IS my life, and I wouldn't trade it for ANYTHING.

It was the best of times, It was the worst of times~priddymomma

Hey hey!  Heather here.  Hope you all had a fantastic week.  Here’s our topic for this week (how strange that all these statements began with an “H”):

MOTHERHOOD:  EXPECTATIONS VS. REALITY

I suppose my expectations began with my first pregnancy.  I had visions of being cutesy pregnant, smiling, cooing to my bump and happily awaiting the birth of my son.

Har har har.

I looked and felt like a beached whale.  I wanted that boy out and soon.  Yesterday would have been great, in fact.  I had gestational diabetes, constant heartburn, and a hemorrhoid.  Named Herman.  Herman the hemorrhoid.

This was to be only my first lesson in motherhood reality (and Preparation H).  Hubby and I talked a lot about what sort of parents we wanted to be.  His parents were very lenient, while mine were too strict.  Ideally, we would meet somewhere in the middle and not make the mistakes our parents made (read “We will not be our parents!”).  We would love and respect our kids, and they would love and respect us.  We would see parents on our outings and say to ourselves, “No way will OUR kids get away with that!” or “I can’t believe that set her off.”

Yeah.  Foreshadowing at its finest.

Thankfully, I had a much more comfortable pregnancy with my daughter.  Sure, I still looked and felt like a beached whale, but I was a cute whale this round, by gum (and best of all, no Herman!).  My husband and I were more realistic about life post-pregnancy as well, which made it a lot easier to hit the ground running. 

What I ultimately discovered was a world both more terrible and more beautiful than I could possibly have imagined.  I didn’t know unconditional love until I beheld my wee ones.  I didn’t know fear until I had cause to worry about harm coming to them.  I had no idea I could get so mad about words fired back at me by an adorable four year-old.   I didn’t realize that I would be learning as much from my kids as they would be learning from me. 

Parenting brings out the best and worst in me.  It tests my patience, challenges my creativity, raises my awareness of all that is around me (and around my children, naturally), causes extreme anxiety, and brings me cause to continue learning about everything.  It brings a different perspective to my thoughts and ideas.  It challenges my preconceived notions and makes me turn inwards to ponder what I truly believe and what I want to instill in my children.  I have never been so tired in my life, nor have I been so inspired or had so much to live for or found so much joy.

I wouldn’t change a thing.  They were totally worth it.  

What I Expected of Motherhood vs. Reality ~Tori

I have to admit motherhood is totally different than I thought it would be. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade it for the world. I love my boys, and I love being a mother.

But to be honest I had a really naive idea of what motherhood was going to be like. Feed, rock, dress, play with, teach, etc., the baby but everything else would carry on.

I figured I could put my baby to bed where he would fall asleep happy, sleeping all night long. I pictured potty training being a breeze, tantrums were going to be non-existent in my world, etc.

I devoured parenting books and felt that I had it in the bag. I was going to be the best mother this world has ever seen, and I would handle it all with super-human strengths. My kids were going to be perfect little angels. But that's where I made my mistake.

I didn't really expect the long nights, forgetting to eat because I was so tired, constant diaper changing, little time to read or even shower, how potty training was going to carry on for a year and a half, how tantrums would be crazy bad and mostly happen in the most public of places, how hard it was going to be to venture out on my own with my baby for the first time, etc. It was a rude awakening to be honest, and nothing like I thought it would be. 

When I first ventured out of the house I must have packed half a box of diapers, 2 whole refills of wipes, 3 changes of extra clothes, tons of blankets, etc. I couldn't even zip my diaper bag, and it was a pretty big one at that.

When you tell everyone your pregnant everyone cheers, hugs, congratulates you, etc., but they don't tell you how hard it's going to be. They don't get into the nitty gritty details of what is all to come. But it is also the most rewarding thing in this world if you ask me. I love being a mother and that part is exactly how I pictured it. Motherhood is constantly changing, and you just gotta roll with the punches. I get overwhelmed, I get stressed, I am not the perfect mother despite all my parenting books, and I finally realize that it is an unrealistic dream. None of us is going to be super-woman. We shouldn't expect that of ourselves because it's only letting yourself down in the end. All we can do is the best that we can. And it really does help to have other mothers to talk to around your age. It doesn't matter how many parenting books you read, or how well you think your prepared for motherhood. It's going to come and it's gonna be packing heat along with it, but it's going to be breath-taking. You will experience a love you never thought possible, and you will finally uncover hidden strengths you didn't even know you possessed. Even though motherhood isn't all rainbows and butterflies it is the best part of life. And one I am so thankful for despite all the hectic, crazy, sleepless nights. My children are my world, and I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.

Be sure to check back Thursday for priddymomma's post & Saturday for Leslie's :)

And again if you have any topic suggestions feel free to email them to us at thecaseofthemissingcheerios(at)gmail.com

The Importance of You Time - Leslie

My goodness!  I'm late!

I mean... posting this, not... you know.

Yesterday, Fiance made me go to Arcticon (or nerd central, in other words) with him.  I thought I would get home with enough time to post, but of course he wanted to stay later, and being three hours away, we didn't get home in time.  I apologize!  But along with having time for yourself, you should also do things with your significant other that make them happy that you may not be interested in.  I was just being a good person...  :)

Anyway, onto the topic at hand - the importance of taking time out of your busy schedule to do something for yourself.  I have always been a loner.  When spending time with people, I prefer to do it in a smaller setting with fewer people.  I don't like huge parties or large gatherings.  I feel sapped of energy when I'm around too many people, and I need to have time alone to recharge.  Working as a school bus assistant, my work schedule is split.  I work early morning (6am-9am), have a long break, and then head back to work around 1:30pm.  That time during the day is spent at home with A.  We go to story time at the library on Tuesdays, read together at home, watch a show together, do crafts, play with her toys, and sometimes throw in a little cuddle-y nap. 

After work, I usually feel pretty drained.  Not from working too hard (the job is extremely simple, but very rewarding), but from being around so many people.  Kids are constantly chattering and asking questions, some decide good behavior is not on the agenda that day, they bicker with each other, and they just generally act like kids do.  It's part of the job, which I don't mind at all.  When I get home, though, I feel like I need a little time to recharge.

When Fiance gets home from work, I usually ask him to keep A occupied for a while so I can just sit and think, or read, or just lay there for a bit.  I don't need a really long time.  Just a few moments to myself.  Then I can get dinner made, or clean something up, or spend more time with A. 

It is very important to take time for yourself because if you are completely run down, you aren't able to be the best you can be for your spouse, your kids, your job, etc.  As mothers, we worry all of the time about doing what is best for our loved ones.  YOU should be on your list of loved ones as well.  Your family needs you to be taken care of as well.  If you recharge best by having a small chunk of time each day to yourself, have dad take the kids for awhile or, better yet, put them to bed a little earlier.  That way you can have a little free time and so can dad if he wants.  Or if you need time away completely, schedule in a day each month that you can spend outside the home.  Go for a walk, go shopping or just window shop.  Go to the park and read under a tree.  Have coffee with a girlfriend.  Do something just for you.  This goes for dad's, too. 

Everyone needs a break once in a while, and it will make you a better person overall because you won't be so stressed.  Let yourself not worry about the bills for a while, or doctor appointments, or deadlines, or your crappy neighbor, or work, or ANYTHING.  It's not selfish to take care of yourself as well, because you will be less stressed and feel better, making everything else easier.   I promise.  :)

Handy Meadows and Intense Shampooers~priddymomma

Heather here, back with another exciting topic (and it has nothing to do with Valentine's Day!)  We are discussing THE IMPORTANCE OF YOU TIME!

Oh yeah.  You heard me:  YOU time!  What’s that, you ask?  Well, it’s a state of being in which you enjoy being your own person, or in which you engage in activities you find enjoyable.  Say what now?  You don’t have time for you time?  You can’t afford to miss you time.  Sure, ideally we could run out and meditate in a meadow for a couple hours a day, but most of us don’t have that kind of freedom (or know where to find a handy meadow).

Oh, silly me.  THERE'S my meadow.  Right where I left it.

I won’t deceive you.  I have a track record of next to no me time.  It’s really hard to get me time as a stay-at-home mother, especially since I also home school my son.  I’ve even struggled with it after both the kids are in bed.  At that point, I’m ready to collapse and sleep.  Any me time would be a chore.  Not only that, but hubby wants to spend some quality time with me as well.  I often find myself resentful that he seems to need all of me all the time as well.  WHEN CAN I BE MY OWN PERSON??!  It can be very frustrating.

I recently celebrated my seventh wedding anniversary with my wonderful husband.  We managed to convince my mother to brave a night with the kiddos so that we could get away.  We were only gone twelve hours, true, but those twelve hours revived me in a way that twelve months of hour-long dates couldn’t.  When I came home, I felt like a different person.  I had patience, for one thing.  PATIENCE!  I didn’t know I had patience!  I missed my kiddos, which is a somewhat novel experience for me.  I’m never away from them, so how can I miss them?  I was looking forward to things that I normally find myself bored about or sometimes even dreading.  I felt relaxed and calm and happy.  I’d forgotten how enjoyable setting my own agenda and not slaving over a planner could be. 

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve complained (or heard someone else complain) about things that could be alleviated by some personal time:  headaches, anxiety, irritability, memory issues to name a few.  “Here I am in the kitchen.  Again.  What did I want in here this time?  Why is the milk in the pantry?  WHERE ARE MY PANTS??!” 

So many of us work our you-know-whats off, presumably to make our lives better.  Where is the time to enjoy it?  You have to make time.  You HAVE to.  You can’t afford not to.  You should take time for yourself just as seriously as you take your health (and if you don’t take your health seriously, START!  Life’s too short to spend half of it sick or to limit your years even further).

One of the best ways you can recharge is to just allow yourself time to think.  When was the last time you sat and did nothing but free-think?  I don’t mean figuring out what you want for dinner this week or doing math.  I mean letting your mind wander wherever it wishes.  When was the last time you realized you’ve been staring at the same thing for the last few minutes but were too deep in thought to realize it?  It is so important to give our brains that break.  I’m convinced that when someone is overstressed, they don’t need pills or less stressful life occurrences (okay.  Maybe sometimes).  What they need is to recharge.  Put away the phone! Get off the internet!  That’s why you always think of the best ideas when you’re in the shower.  There isn’t a lot going on, so your mind is free to wander.  (Okay, maybe some people are really intense about shampooing or something, but I imagine that would not be the majority.) (Turns out there's a brand called Intense Shampoo.  I stand corrected).

IN-TENTS!

Start looking for ways to work “you time” into the every day.  Maybe now isn’t a good time for a ten-mile bike ride or a trip to Cancun, but what can you do in the here and now to better enjoy life?  Maybe it’s as simple as trying a new recipe or making a favorite dish.  Perhaps you can put on a favorite album and jiggle a little while you wash dishes or take a shower (but not you Intense Shampoo people.  You've had enough fun).  Maybe laundry folding can be a race with the family to see who can fold the most or make the tallest pile. 

Naturally, exercise is a huge stress-buster and mood-improver.  Yoga, in particular, can be amazing for this.  I’ve practiced yoga for five years, and I do love it.  Got five minutes?  Stretch.  You’ll feel better, improve circulation, and maybe think of a really creative way of organizing the linen closet.  DREAM BIG! 

NOT me.  I would be choking on my body fat in this position.

Friends can be a huge help.  It’s very important to have time by yourself, but there’s nothing quite like laughing with your girls to make you feel better about your situation.  One caution though:  avoid toxic “friends”.  You know the type.  That friend you have that only pretends to care about what’s going on in your life and pounces on the chance to change the topic to her personal favorite:  herself.  Exceptionally negative or degrading “friends” aren’t going to make you feel happier either.  Don’t disregard family members! I call my brother sometimes when I need a laugh.  He is an idiot, I love him, and I love talking about silly things we did when we were kids. 

My brother and I.  We're hardcore.

Oh, and LAUGH!  That’s my number one tip.  Read a funny book, watch a movie or show, look up fails on youtube!  Whatever you do, find a way to laugh and dissolve that awful, grown-up feeling in your chest.  Subside into giggles like you did as a child and realize that a year from now, whatever is stressing you out right now will likely not matter as it isn’t a big deal, or it will be resolved.  And laugh at yourself.  You are hilarious. 

Like myself, I’m sure balancing you time and everything else you do is a work in progress.  How do you manage it all?  Where do you sneak it in?   Let us know below!  Check back with Leslie on Saturday for more ideas and tips on finding time for yourself, and be sure to check out our new topic on Tuesday with Tori.  Have a fantastic weekend, and maybe have some you time on V-day! 

The Importance of You Time ~ Tori

Sorry for posting so late, it's been one busy day. Which makes this week's topic all the more important.

The Importance of Taking Time To Yourself

I have 2 boys as you all know, and let me just say that things always can get a bit...

CRAZY

So it's more important than ever to schedule yourself some personal time. Otherwise you will find yourself one stressed out mama.

Of course you can't always get personal time because, well...kids get sick, schedules get hectic, etc. But even some time to yourself a little each week will do wonders.

Now you may be thinking to yourself: "She has to be kidding if she even thinks I can get some time to myself, there's no time for that"

The thing is, there is time. We usually just don't realize it. Either we can get up a bit early (I know it sounds hard, but it is sometimes well worth it), or we can stay up a little later to get our "me" time. There is also nap time, and you can compromise with your partner sometimes as well and switch.

And your "you" time doesn't have to be anything crazy expensive, or at a special place. Just some time to yourself to do something you enjoy. Maybe go to the library by yourself, take a couple hours to read, play some computer games, take a walk, ride your bike, work in the garden, go get your hair done, crochet, watch a TV show, etc. You can take an hour, two hours, or even 30 minutes. Just take some time to breathe for yourself. 

There are many ways to give yourself a little break now and again. Most importantly just know that it's okay to do that.

When I had my first son I felt guilty about taking time to myself. For the longest time I didn't even want to, and that's okay too. But as time went on, he grew, schedules started getting even more crazy, our family expanded, and things got even more hectic with all our lives. I wouldn't change any of it for the world of course, I am so thankful for my husband, family, and children. But you can't lose yourself in the process. Just because you are a mother, wife, etc., doesn't mean you are not still you. You are still your own person with your own interests, hobbies, etc.

If you find yourself getting stressed out take some time. Schedule it in for yourself, and you will be thankful you did. It really helps your mood, patience, and just your whole parenting spirit in general.

Motherhood is the most rewarding job in the entire world if you ask me. The love I feel for my children is by far the most wonderfully indescribable feeling in the world. I could go on and on about all the joys, but motherhood can also be hard. I'm not going to sugar-coat it here. It isn't always easy, no matter what people say. Whether you are a working mom or a stay at home mom we all have a hard job even as rewarding as it is. We are literally everything rolled into one. Oftentimes we are thrust into these new lives with little or no training, and nobody is going to give you the lowdown nitty gritty details of motherhood. You'll hear of all the good because they want you to be happy, but the hard stuff is learned as it comes. And we deserve a little time to ourselves every now and again so we don't get overwhelmed. It doesn't mean that you aren't a good mother, it doesn't mean you aren't taking good care of your children, so don't even let any of that make you feel guilty. Everyone deserves to do something for themselves every now and then. Moms are no different.

So take some time out for yourself this week, and enjoy it. Whether it's 1 hour, 30 minutes, or even 20 minutes just take a breather and relax. Ask your husband or partner to play with the kids for an hour or so, they will get some bonding time, and you will get a little break. Wait till your kiddos go to sleep and just relax and get caught up on that book you never get time to read. You'll feel better once you did. 

Come back on Thursday to see priddymomma's input on The Importance of You Time, and come back Saturday for Leslie's input.
And again feel free to email us at thecaseofthemissingcheerios(at)gmail.com if you would like us to cover a certain topic, or answer any questions. And feel free to comment below as we would love to hear from you. :)

How do you usually spend your "me" time?

Favorite Books - Leslie

Sharing my favorite books is easy.  I LOVE to read.  However, there are so many that I like that it may be hard to stop me.  I apologize in advance if this is extremely long.  I'll condense as best as I can.  The links will take you to Goodreads for more information on the books/series.  You may want to use the bathroom and get a snack first...




Series:

Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling
(From Goodreads)
Harry Potter has never played a sport while flying on a broomstick. He's never worn a Cloak of Invisibility, befriended a giant, or helped hatch a dragon. All Harry knows is a miserable life with the Dursleys, his horrible aunt and uncle, and their abominable son, Dudley. Harry's room is a tiny cupboard under the stairs, and he hasn't had a birthday party in ten years.

But all that is about to change when a mysterious letter arrives by owl messenger: a letter with an invitation to a wonderful place he never dreamed existed. There he finds not only friends, aerial sports, and magic around every corner, but a great destiny that's been waiting for him... if Harry can survive the encounter.

(Related to HP series)

  


Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
(From Goodreads) 
Could you survive on your own, in the wild, with everyone out to make sure you don't live to see the morning?

In the ruins of a place once known as North America lies the nation of Panem, a shining Capitol surrounded by twelve outlying districts. The Capitol is harsh and cruel and keeps the districts in line by forcing them all to send one boy and one girl between the ages of twelve and eighteen to participate in the annual Hunger Games, a fight to the death on live TV.

Sixteen-year-old Katniss Everdeen, who lives alone with her mother and younger sister, regards it as a death sentence when she steps forward to take her sister’s place in the Games. But Katniss has been close to dead before—and survival, for her, is second nature. Without really meaning to, she becomes a contender.

If she is to win, she will have to start making choices that will weigh survival against humanity and life against love.

Delirium by Lauren Oliver
(From Goodreads)
They say that the cure for Love will make me happy and safe forever.

And I've always believed them.

Until now.

Now everything has changed.

Now, I'd rather be infected with love for the tiniest sliver of a second than live a hundred years smothered by a lie.

Lena looks forward to receiving the government-mandated cure that prevents the delirium of love and leads to a safe, predictable, and happy life, until ninety-five days before her eighteenth birthday and her treatment, when she falls in love.

Authors:
Stephen King

A few titles I enjoy:

 Chuck Palahniuk

A few titles I enjoy:  

John Green

A few titles I enjoy:

Standalone Books:

White Oleander by Janet Fitch

Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children by Ransom Riggs

  
The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett

The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky

   
Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen

  
Virgin Suicides by Jeffrey Eugenides

A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess

  
Phantom of the Opera by Gaston Leroux

Poetry special mention - The Flash of Lightning Behind the Mountain by Charles Bukowski

   
Children's special mention - Willoughby & the Moon by Greg E. Foley

What are some of your favorites?  Feel free to send any recommendations my way.  I'm always looking for something new!  Also, look me up on Goodreads!  Lesaphine