Uh oh...we're talking about...SEX! *gasps*

When I was pregnant with my first son I of course thought of a million things I had ahead of me. One of those things was the inevitable sex talk that would come when my son was in the pre-teen years. But one thing I wasn't quite prepared for was that particular talk wasn't going to fully wait until then.
Let's face it, kids have questions, they are curious. And you are not going to be able to avoid that particular talk until the pre-teen/teen years. And you do not want to wait and let school teach your child about sex. I have heard many stories that some parents actually do rely on a school to have that talk with their children. Many figure well that's what sex education classes are for right? WRONG! You do not want your child walking around unaware of everything. I'm not saying go full hog and sit your toddler or elementary aged child down and have the whole talk with them at once. But let them know what their body parts are called. And let them know what they are for and that it is not okay for anyone to touch them there. Let them know they do not have to be ashamed of their body or their body parts but there is a time and a place for bringing up those subjects.

A lot of parents get worried to even tell their children a correct term for their body parts like penis, vagina, breasts, testicles, etc. But it's nothing to be embarrassed about and it's nothing to be ashamed about. It's awkward to talk about more than anything, but just push past that feeling. When you get nervous and uncomfortable and try to cover up the actual name for these parts then your children could pick up on that and be embarrassed also. Not to mention they won't be getting accurate information. And that's not good, you want them to be comfortable with themselves, and they need to understand.
Because girls and boys alike are going to be curious about their parts and how they differ from other childrens. They want to know what certain things are for and why they have them, and it's up to you to give them that information. My kids know the names of their body parts, and they know that nobody other than mom/dad/themselves/doctors are allowed to touch them there. And when they have questions just answer them. My oldest son asked where babies come from recently and how they get in and out of a woman's belly. He also asked why boys can't have babies. I explained these things to him in a way he can easily understand. About how men have sperm and women have ovaries and eggs. How the sperm and egg meet and make a baby. How boys have a penis and girls have a vagina, and only girls carry babies. Once I answered his questions he didn't ask any further questions, but both our boys know they can ask questions. They know it's natural to be curious. I don't want to send them out in the world and have their questions answered by anyone else.

If you consider something taboo and you don't broach the subject or answer questions as they come up then you are just teaching your children that they should be ashamed of their bodies. Not only that but when the time comes for them to make a decision they may not have all the facts to make a decision. Kids are a lot smarter than many people give them credit for.

So don't be ashamed to talk to your child about sex and body parts. It's important that you answer any questions they have, and give them the facts in a way they can understand. Don't recite from a book but really talk to them and listen to them. Don't send them out in the world curious and unprepared because you don't know what kind of answers they could get from someone else. It's our job to teach them. It's not something to be ashamed of, don't be embarrassed.
And you will probably find that if you answer the questions they have now and at least teach them the basics that your future "talk" won't be as bad as your dreading it to be.

The birds and the bees~priddymomma

Hey guys!  Thanks for tuning in with us!  We’re discussing the birds and the bees this week.  While I’m sure you have had THE TALK with your folks at some point (as this is a parenting blog with most likely parent readers), you might be uncomfortable having the same discussion with your kids.

Personally, I feel this country has a huge problem with labeling things as taboo, sweeping them under the rug, and pretending they don’t exist.  While companies might be okay with marketing sex, the general population still avoids the concept at the dinner table.  Do you have a little boy?  How did you feel the first time you noticed he had an erection?  How about your daughter?  Are you uncomfortable when she explores herself during bath time? 

{In case you are new, I’m blunt.  By now, you’ve probably noticed.}

I have a problem with making sex a taboo topic.  Sex is a wonderful thing under the right circumstances.  It brings people closer, expresses love, creates life, and feels good.  There is nothing wrong with it.  It is a natural thing.  It is your job to teach your kids about that. 

Here’s the problem:  it makes people uncomfortable.  I know you do NOT want to think of your sweet baby ever having sex, but it isn’t like plugging your ears and humming is going to change the fact that most people have sex at some point in time.  While you teach them what sex does, you don’t want to encourage them to do it right away!  I get that; however, the solution is to make it LESS taboo, not more so.

 

too much?

Do you want your kids to grow up to be polite, intelligent, honest people?  Sure you do!  Are you planning to wait until they are about to leave the house to teach them how to be polite, intelligent, and honest?  Heck no!  You are probably teaching them RIGHT NOW! 

Bingo!  Teach them now.  Teach them right now every day just the way you teach them to love and how to sing their ABCs.  “But Heather!  I could not talk to my son/daughter about sex!  He/she is 2/3/4/5/6 years old!”  Ahh.  I’m willing to bet you already have.  (Quit looking so scandalized!)  What does your child call his or her private anatomy?  You had to, at some point, make a decision on what to call those pieces when asked or when describing potty training.  Sex starts with having the right parts, does it not? 

Maybe you’ve had more of the talk than you’ve realized.  Have you talked about privacy?  Maybe you’ve mentioned that no one is allowed to touch private parts except mom/dad and the doctor/childcare provider?  Perhaps you’ve even had to make a decision on approaching your child about masturbation? 

Just for fun background, I’ll brief you on what my kids know.  Cheerio Champ is six.  When I was pregnant with Princess Cheerio, we checked out some books at the library and discussed pregnancy and babies.  He learned that sperm and egg make baby.  Babies grow in mom’s belly (I taught him uterus, but it didn’t stick.  Belly was easier for him to understand at that age) and then come out when they are too big to be in there anymore.  He had questions.  “How does the sperm get there?”  Daddy put it there.  He never asked how.  “Can I have a baby in my belly?”  No, honey.  Only women have babies.  He never asked how the baby got out.  And that was it!  Not painful at all!

Since that time, Cheerio Champ has learned that sometimes women don’t want to have babies and get medicine from the doctor to prevent pregnancy.  He knows that touching himself feels good and that if he wants to do that, it is okay, but he has to do it in his bedroom with the door closed or in the bathroom when no one else is in there.  He knows it isn’t polite to touch himself in front of anyone else.  He knows he is supposed to tell us if someone other than mom or dad or his doctor touches him there and that he is to never touch anyone else in their private areas either.  We recently discussed how people don’t usually enjoy being ogled while they are naked.  {By “people,” I meant me, and by “while they are naked,” I meant while I am toweling off after using my glass shower, why are you in my bathroom again??!}  It is a constant learning adventure! 

Princess Cheerio is only two.  She calls her private parts by the appropriate names (even though screaming “-GINA”, as she calls it, makes even me look like a prude, or like a giggling schoolgirl, depending on the circumstance).  She also knows that exploring herself is not polite to do in front of others.  This is a more recent conversation.  And the little lady likes her privacy (especially from her brother) when she tinkles.     

I’m not telling you to swing out the textbooks and videos and describe STIs (previously STDs) and contraceptives to a three year old.  I’m telling you to do your best to open the discussion with your kids by answering any questions they have as they crop up.  Make sure they know that you can and will talk with them about anything always, no matter what the topic, without fear of ridicule or judgment.  Explain topics in a way they can understand at that age range.  Use things they see on television, youtube, or ads as learning tools to opening the door for important discussions.  Make sure the information they have is accurate, kick up your feet, and know that you are doing your job without THE TALK looming in the future. 

Sex?!

Sex is one of those topics that can be hard for parents to bring up with their kids.  I often hear how someone dreads the birds and the bees talk when their child gets older.  I used to dread it, too, but then I figured out how to avoid THAT conversation.  Ready?

Do it now.

No, I don't mean sit your infant down and give them all of the gory details.  That would go over well, wouldn't it?  I'm sure they would care so much...  :P  What I mean is, don't wait until a certain time to lay it all out for your child. 

With A, the "talk" has been ongoing.  We often go over body parts and what everything is for.  However, since she is 3 years old, we do it at her level with her language.  She doesn't know what sex is in detail, but she does know that a girl has ovaries and eggs and a boy has testicles and sperm.  When the sperm and the egg meet, they can form into a baby.  She knows that breasts are for feeding a baby; that one day she will get a period.  We don't shy away from information, we just give it to her in small bits that she won't be confused by.  She has books that have illustrations of the body, and specifically the reproductive systems.  She is allowed to look at those as much as she wants and ask questions.  Her questions are answered in a way that she can understand.

For us as parents, we believe it is important to teach A about her body but not in a way that she would feel ashamed by it.  I think a lot of people have trouble talking to their kids about sex (especially older children or teenagers), and sometimes I think it is due to society portraying sex as a healthy part of life, as shameful.  I do not want A to feel ashamed.  For that reason, we don't use other names for her or anyone else's body parts.  She knows the words vulva, vagina, and penis and uses them regularly (and always has).  She knows that those are private areas and that it's not okay to touch anyone there and that no one should touch her there.

I used to be so scared for this aspect of parenting.  When you think about sitting your pre-teen down and giving them all of the information they need to make a good decision regarding their sexual health, it can be so scary.  That is why I decided that I wasn't going to wait.  A needs to know these things now, not when she's hormonal and going through puberty.  Kids learn things so young these days, and usually from a source that is neither knowledgeable or appropriate.  I would rather teach her things the right way at a young age than to try and have that conversation with her later when she has already "learned" it all.  That way, I feel that if the topic comes up elsewhere, she will feel comfortable to bring any questions she has to me without fear that she shouldn't know that stuff.  We will have also already created a bond of trust regarding sex and her body and she won't feel like anyone is keeping anything from her.  Most importantly, she will have all the information she needs to make a smart decision if anything ever comes up with friends or a boyfriend, or anyone.  (Of course, that doesn't mean she will MAKE a smart decision, but she will have the ability to.)

I think, in the end, it is just important for us as parents to be the ones to teach our children what is right.  Like I said, they are learning this stuff at a younger and younger age.  The time frame most parents think they have before this topic comes up just isn't there anymore.  We don't want to have to try to fix what someone else might have told them.  Why not just do it now, while you still can safely?

And we meet again...

Hey all! I bet your were probably expecting this to be another one of those mom blogs where we write awhile then give up on it huh? Well, lucky for you we didn't give up just had some life things going on that kept us away for awhile. But now we are back baby! (Excuse me I have just always wanted to say that). :D

Just in case you forgot who I am, my name is Tori.

I'm a 26 year old stay at home mom. I do book and product reviews on my own blog, and do some freelance work for extra income from time to time. I am married to a wonderful, sometimes frustrating, but I love him dearly man. His name is Josh. We have been married almost eight years. He makes me laugh like crazy, and never cares that I am always a little ditzy and that crazy odd things always seem to be happening to me (now us). LOL

We have two wonderful boys that keep us on our toes. Lucas 6, and Levi 3. They are always so much fun, they say the darndest things, are smart as can be, and there is never a dull moment. Things can get a little crazy here and there, but if things weren't a little crazy now and then it wouldn't be called life right?

I have a wide variety of interests. Some (but definitely not all) of them are writing, reading, spending time with family and friends, water, gardening, and just anything fun.

Now let me fill you in a bit on where I've been. It's been crazy and I may leave quite a few things out so forgive me. haha.

We found an apartment that fits our family (yay!). We are going to start the house hunting process in a couple years and are getting things financially right in the meantime so we will be ready.
Other than that I would just put it as we have had a lot of family stuff, health stuff, car troubles, etc., going on that has kept us pretty busy. Stressed at times, but God has really seen us through and I am so grateful for that. I can't even begin to put into words how thankful.
So we are chugging along, and I am excited to be back to blogging with the other wonderful ladies that are part of this blog.
I'm sure we will provide endless entertainment for you guys, and give you our take on tons of different topics. Hopefully you will find them informational, and they can help you in some way. If you would like to hear us speak on any topics in particular just remember you can leave your requests in the comments or just zap us an email at thecaseofthemissingcheerios@gmail.com
We would love to hear from you, and are always excited to meet our readers.
I will be blogging on Saturdays, so I look forward to seeing you all again soon! :)

It's been awhile!

             Hello fellow detectives! Sorry I have been missing in action for a while now! We have been SO busy! It has been CRAZY around my house! For starters, in case you forgot who I am, I am Ashley! I love my family, I love my friends, I tend to ramble, I love taking pictures, I love Jesus, I love to do hair, I love to have fun, I love watermelon, and I love cookouts and bon fires! I have been married to my high school sweet heart, Trevor, for almost 7 years. We have two beautiful, amazing children: Our son, Keagan, who is almost 5, and our daughter, Laynie, she is 2.

           Whats new? We got a new home! My family and I are buying my parents house. I grew up in this house, so it has been fun changing things up and making it ours! Soon after we moved in to our new home, a dear friend of mine and her two boys stayed with us for about six weeks. It sure was an adventure. In the meantime, my son was diagnosed with Autism. I knew it was coming but it was different actually hearing it from the doctor. My daughter has been having some medical issues, and she has had many tests, starting with ruling out one of the scariest diagnosis a child could have. I thank God it is not cancer. Some of her symptoms have calmed down, so now we are just trying to find out what it could be. My mother has had surgery and hospitalizations in the past few months. In the midst of this I was juggling four online classes, and I ended up having to drop them for this semester due to all the chaos previously mentioned! Thankfully, this month things seem to be calming down and we are starting to settle in our new home!

 

             OH!! A couple of great things that have happened the last few months besides getting a new home: We got a new puppy! Sullivan aka Sulley(Keagan named him, like the monster from Monsters University). He is now about 12 weeks old and has doubled in size...I think he is going to be HUGE!

             We went on a MUCH needed vacation! We went to North Carolina for my brother in-laws wedding. It was fantastic! I LOVE my new sister and her family. It was a beautiful trip, and we had so much fun:)

Laynie at the wedding

Keagan at the wedding

Mountains!

My love!

             One other thing I feel the need to mention because it was AWESOME!!! I did the color run with a few friends last weekend! IT WAS SO MUCH FUN! Everyone should try it!

              I am excited to get back to blogging! 

We're back! ~priddymomma

Hey guys!  It has been a while, eh?  We moms know how the things we desire to do (blogging, for instance) get put on the back burner quite often.  In this case, it looks like it was removed from the stove entirely.  We're hoping to change that and get back to it.  {Thanks for reading!  I post Thursdays!}

Wow.  When we last left our heroes, I had just had a jolly good time with my van in the sinkhole/pot hole outside of our crappy little rented house.  That seems like a decade ago.  I will give you the highlights on the van, if you care.  If not, skip to the next paragraph.  Turns out the van was flooded with gas, mostly from my husband flooring it as he tried to get out of the pot hole/bottomless pit.  It cost an arm and a leg to repair, and we had to open a line of credit to do it, which was really kind of awful, but with tax season right around the corner, we figured we'd pay it off when we got our tax return (which we did).  We had another BIG VAN THING since then, but unrelated.  It only cost half as much as well.  

{Hello impatient folks!} We were searching for a house when I left off here.  Uh...wow.  This is a really long story to relay, so I'll give you the highlight reel.  We liked a place that was a short sale (code for "in your dreams/takes forever!").  When the tax check came in February (because we were on it like that), we put in an offer for the place.  FIVE WEEKS LATER, we still hadn't got a response for the bank.  And then a new place went up for sale.  It was perfect.  We went to see it the day after it was posted, and we weren't even the first to get to see it!  We made an offer that night, and two other offers were already standing on the place!  Long story short, they accepted our offer the very next day and our conditions and even paid for our first year of flood insurance when it was discovered to be in a flood plain.  They are awesome.  

Anywho, we moved, the kids had their joint birthday party (Cheerio Champ is 6, and Princess Cheerio is 2!), we hosted Easter brunch two weeks later, and two weeks after that we had our housewarming party.  Whew!  Talk about a whirlwind! 

All of that assumes that you have been reading.  If you haven't, welcome!  I'm priddymomma/Heather.  I will be your oftentimes sarcastic, sometimes witty, always-trying-to-be-funny blogger.  Yay, right?  Just what you needed in your life, I'm sure.  I am a stay at home mom to two adorable, though very loud children.  I am happily married (8 years!) to my high school sweetheart.  

If you were to step into my household right at the moment, you would find my daughter maybe falling asleep finally for her nap (nope.  False alarm).  You would hear my son (again with the loud), though not see him as it is quiet time for the little monster, and he is in his room.  And you would find me, typing at the computer, with poor posture, frazzled looking, and wearing yoga pants that are at least as old as my son.  

My husband just called to see if there was anything he could do or get for me on the way home.  Isn't that sweet?  Actually, he does that nearly every day, and I can't decide how I feel about it.  Does he do it to be sweet?  Does he do it because he wants to make sure he doesn't have to run out again once he gets home?  Or does he do it because he doesn't want to get in trouble for having an abysmal memory/selective hearing and completely forget/miss something I mentioned the night before that I needed for him to do on the way home?  I don't know.  

See?  You'd also see me being a lunatic about nothing.  You would also see toy chaos all throughout the house, except in the kids' rooms.  Ironically, they don't seem to want their rooms to be messy.  Go figure.  You would wonder why I haven't cleaned up from lunch yet when it ended an hour ago (because I am a free person, okay??). 

What I would like to stress to you mothers and fathers out there is that I am not perfect.  I am in no way a perfect parent either.  And if only perfect parent people blogged, it would be extremely boring.  In fact, reading a perfect parent blog I'm pretty sure would result in an instant need for me to commit a violent act.  Like, for instance, going on a mommy rampage through my thigh high lawn (long story), smashing dandelions with a purple plastic bat while screaming incoherently.  Just throwing that out there.  Quit looking at me like that!

No judgement here, dudes.  Laugh, cry, fart.  Whatever!  I hope to be able to bring a bit of humor to your day, to help you to laugh at yourself (and me of course), and to bring some topics to mind that are important so that maybe we'll all learn a little something here if we're lucky.  

Until next time, then!  :) 

It HAS been a long time, hasn't it? - Leslie

Hey everyone!

I know we haven't been the best at keeping up with the blog as of late, but we are hoping to change that.  I have been gone longer than some of the others due to health reasons.  I will get into that, but first I want to explain the purpose of the blog and then introduce myself again for anyone who may be new.

My name is Leslie and I will be contributing (mostly) weekly to the blog.  I used to write every Saturday, but now you will see me on Mondays.  Our topics will include everything from books, to parenting, to personal issues and current events.  We choose a new topic every week and on their day, each contributor will then write a post on the topic as they see fit.  We believe it is a great way to get different viewpoints on many subjects.  We always consider suggestions for weekly topics, so don't hesitate to send us your ideas!

As I said, my name is Leslie.  I am a 26 year old mom from Indiana and I am engaged to graphic artist.  Don't get any ideas!  My art is terrible.  My daughter is 3 years old but I am convinced she is going to turn 30 before I do.  She's growing so fast!

I love to read.  In fact, that is usually what you'll find me doing if I have any free time.  I also like to write, but I wish I were better at it.  It would be great to be able to write like one of the many great authors I have read.  Unfortunately lately I haven't been able to do much more than that due to health issues.

That takes me into where I have been for the past year or so.  It might be a bit long-winded, so I apologize in advance.  I also plan to shorten this version tremendously, which unfortunately means I will leave out a lot of details.  If you are interested in that, let me know. 

Last June I went with my fiance and daughter to Pennsylvania to visit my fiance's family.  Being the bed he grew up with, it was smaller and softer than I was used to.  One night I slept funny and woke up with the worst pain in my neck.  Of course I attributed it to the bed, and got through the rest of the week okay.  When we got home, I was still having problems with it.  In fact, it was getting worse.  After waking up several nights with severe pain moving across my back (sitting on the couch is the only thing that helped it, for some reason), I went to the emergency room.  They didn't really examine me at all and sent me home telling me it was just because I slept funny and probably had a muscle spasm.  Another late night trip to the ER a couple of days later and they still said the same thing.  Finally I got into my family doctor who ordered x-rays.  On them, he could see spasms in my back, but he also said he saw a cyst inside my spinal cord for which he referred me to a neurosurgeon.  Long story short, through MRI tests, the neurosurgeon found two brain tumors and a small tumor inside my spinal cord.  The tumors were causing fluid to build up around them which was what my family doctor saw on the x-ray.  He said the cyst around the tumor in my spine was what was causing my pain.  In September, due to it's larger size, the neurosurgeon decided first to remove the tumor on my brain stem.  The surgery went well, but a couple of weeks later I started to get horrible headaches.  It turns out I had developed hydrocephalus.  In October, I had another surgery where a shunt was placed to relieve the pressure from the fluid build up on my brain.  Unfortunately the tube that connected the shunt itself to my abdomen pulled out of where it was supposed to be and the doctor had to go back in and fix it.  That was surgery 3. 

I got a bit of a reprieve from surgeries for the rest of 2013.  I was referred to an oncologist after the first surgery just because we were dealing with tumors.  The tumor itself turned out to be one called a hemangioblastoma.  That means the tumor was a very bloody one, but wasn't cancerous. 

At this point the neurosurgeon and the oncologist suspected that I had a disease called Von Hippel-Lindau disease.  That is where tumors form throughout the brain, spinal cord, and sometimes on the kidneys and pancreas.  I still haven't been able to get the test to confirm it 100%, but every doctor I have come into contact with is pretty much convinced that is what it is.

The neurosurgeon ordered more MRIs to check my thoracic spine for tumors.  Fortunately, the rest of my spine is clear.  However, they did find tumors on my kidneys and possibly cysts on my pancreas.  I was referred to a urologist who did a biopsy in December on the largest tumor on my left kidney.  That did turn out to be cancerous, though I couldn't give exact details about it.  The urologist turned out to be a little... eh?  He said it could wait a little while and he didn't seem concerned, but I also didn't much like his bedside manner.  My neurosurgeon (who I LOVE) referred me to another urologist who I am seeing now.  I recently had more tests to check my kidney function and another MRI to check sizes of tumors and things like that, but I haven't heard from the urologist's office for another appointment to talk results and surgeries so when I get that information, I will pass that along.

In March, I had another surgery to remove the second tumor from my brain.  He removed a portion of my skull to get to it and that is still off, so that freaks me out a bit.  Other than that, it was also a hemangioblastoma, so not cancerous, and recovery has been really great.  It seems to baffle the doctor how well my recovery goes, especially from brain surgery.  At this point I am just waiting to hear back from the urologist to see what happens next.  I know that for the cancer, radiation and chemotherapy won't have an effect.  They said it won't help at all.  The only option is surgery.  When I find out more, I will give another update. 

So, that is me and what has been going on.  I hope I didn't ramble or stray too much.  That's hard when you have a whole family of people who are distracting!  I will be back next Monday with a new topic.  Hope to see you there!

Again, if you have any topic suggestions, e-mail them to thecaseofthemissingcheerios@gmail.com or leave them in a comment!