Hello cats and kittens!
Heather here. I hope I didn’t
scare you off last week (No worries! No
Herman the Hemorrhoid in this post! <<<except there…). Tori did a fantastic job of schooling you on
the basics of potty training, so I won’t trouble you there. I’ll just share Cheerio Champ’s story and
what I learned in the process.
I went into potty training my son with delusions of
grandeur. He had been interested in the
whole bathroom process for a while by two years of age, so I figured I had it
in the bag. He also hated to be dirty in
any way, so naturally he’d want to have potty training out of the way. I didn’t read any potty training books ahead
of time or worry too much about it. The
way family members spoke of it, it happened rather naturally and the kids
practically trained themselves. How hard
could it be?
Come to think on it, this is totally out of character for
me. Talk about your Red Flag. I usually read everything I can get my hands
on about every topic ever. Somewhere in
my heart of hearts, perhaps I knew I was deluding myself.
 |
| The HORROR! *tremble* |
I got a free potty seat with Diego all over it through the
Gifts to Grow Pampers points reward system, which I placed on the potty and
left for some amount of time without rushing Cheerio Champ. After he became comfortable with that, I
started placing him on it every now and again, fully clothed. He thought it was hilarious and would sit
there for several minutes before wanting to get down and away from his mom (whom,
from his perspective, was clearly losing her mind). Then I started placing him on the seat in
just a pull-up (he had outgrown diapers), and he seemed fine with that. It was after the diaper came off that it
started to become tricky. The seat
rocked and he pinched a finger and then he wanted nothing to do with the seat
again. I tried to step back to being
clothed, but it was too late. He was now
terrified of the potty seat.
I let it go for about a month, tried again. Nope.
Still terrified. I tried buying
one of the floor model potty chairs, but honestly he was too large. He’s a big kid, man. I’m also positive he had NO idea what it was
for. He peed in it once, by complete mistake,
so we made a big deal out of it. The
next time, he went immediately in it, but after that he had no interest in it
whatsoever.
Next came a multitude of bad ideas and poor results. We tried movies, songs, candy, consequences, toy
rewards, letting/making him run naked, getting angry (not planned), ridiculous
praise (with cheering), potty chants, praying to the potty gods (are there such
things?), running water with the hope that he would feel the need to go, trying
to “catch” him when he needed to pee…the list goes on and none of it worked.
The biggest difference came when I bought a new potty seat
to fit on the potty. It adjusted to the
size of the toilet seat, so there was no rocking. It was more ergonomic, so not only did he
find it more comfortable, but I didn’t have to watch out for yellow showers
(always a plus!). It was costly, but
well worth it. I also provided him with
a potty book, which helped make the sit more enjoyable, as he was only allowed
to have it while on the potty. We also
gave him a stool, to allow him to get up there when he wished.
I can not tell you how much I appreciated the sticker chart
idea. We began giving him stickers on a
poster board each time he had success.
It was magical. We didn’t have to
reward him after so many stickers. He
just wanted to see the stickers on his poster.
They didn’t even have to be cool stickers! We called grandma a couple times and proudly
told relatives of his success and that was good enough for him. During that time, we moved to a new
house. I didn’t put up a new sticker
chart, but he continued to use the potty just the same out of habit now and
life was good.
He also wanted to stay dry during the day so he could wear
his cool big-boy underwear. If you have
a boy, I highly recommend buying underwear that are the same type his daddy
uses. For our son, that meant boxer
briefs, which they don’t sell everywhere with fun cartoon characters and the
like. That’s both good and bad, but it
didn’t make a difference for Cheerio Champ.
He was like his daddy and that’s all that mattered to him.
We just had one small problem: the kid wouldn’t poop to save his life. Allow me to rephrase: the kid wouldn’t poop IN THE POTTY to save
his life (Pull-ups or the floor were acceptable). He ended up constipated, which I do not
recommend. Not even a little. I tried bribing the child with cake, I was so
desperate! CAKE! He still would not poop in the potty. By this time, Cheerio Champ was 3 ½, and I
was pregnant. “NO WAY was I going to be
changing two sets of diapers when he was plenty old enough to use the potty,” I
told myself. He was just being stubborn,
I was sick of cleaning up after him, and I had had ENOUGH (I was also pregnant
and possibly irrational). One night, he
clearly had to poop, and I placed him on the toilet. I had to check on dinner, so I left and came
back to find a steaming pile waiting. Oh
no. I made him clean it up. That’s right.
I gave him a grocery bag and a wad of paper towels and made him pick it
up. It was his mess, after all. He gagged and cried, I felt awful, and the
floor got cleaned. He never pooped on
the floor again. NEVER. Not once!
There was probably a better way, but he was pooping in the potty now, so
I was good to go (for the record, I think it is a good idea to teach
responsibilities and make it a group effort…but making them pick it up out of
anger is not such a good idea).
One last hurdle then:
bedtime wetting. I sat him down
and told him that he was so big that they didn’t make pull-ups in his size
anymore. We needed to wear big boy
underwear all the time, even when we slept at night. If he felt like he had to pee, he needed to
get up and go. I also said we don’t pee
in the bed. We pee in the potty. He was absolutely okay with that, and I never
had to buy another pull-up. He wet the
bed two nights in a row. I washed his
sheets (he has a waterproof mattress cover, which I highly recommend) and wet
clothes, reminded him to use the potty, woke him at night a couple times to get
him to go, and that was done. He was
more than ready to be completely potty trained, so that part was easy.
I have an eleven-month old daughter, whom I will eventually
have to potty train (I’ll try to contain my enthusiasm). My number one mistake with Cheerio Champ was
making potty training a Big Deal. It was
obvious how much I was tied up in his successes and failures. With Princess Cheerio, I will be more laid
back (and awesome?), as I am in all things parenting with child number
two. I plan to start with what worked
with Cheerio Champ ultimately, skipping over everything else. No two children are the same, so I’m sure
that I’ll have entirely different problems and sentiments with her. I also plan to let her take the lead and not
move on until she wants to and not just because I feel pressured by friends,
relatives, complete strangers, or circumstances. She’ll train when she’s ready and not a
second before.
Maybe you are dreading potty training after reading all
that, and I wouldn’t blame you. It was
stressful and a horrible experience, but it was absolutely enlightening. I learned a lot about myself, a ton about my
child, and I began to parent differently as a result.
Parenting is like a roller coaster: it has its ups and downs. Sometimes you are giddily anticipating the
thrill, enjoying the moment (First steps!
First word! First day of
school!), and sometimes you are screaming your full head off and wondering what
the hell you got yourself into. It can
also be a lot like looking in a fun-house mirror. In some mirrors, you wonder how you never
noticed all these flaws you have. In
others, you discover how truly beautiful you can be if given the chance. And in looking in all these mirrors, you
realize that there is always another perspective and always the chance to
change how you view yourself and the world around you. So just keep in mind that after the trip to
the amusement park is over, we won’t remember every mirror or every hill. What we’ll be left with are impressions and
fond memories, and we’re likely to forget any hang-ups we had as they never
truly mattered in the long run. Relax
and enjoy. If your kid is still wearing
diapers in high school, they can buy them out of their own allowance.
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